Thursday, October 28, 2004  1:35 pm 

Lost bolts

The Lost Boys might well be one of the ultimate 80s movies, with its blend of terror slasher and kid fantasy, US high school social struggle, leather jackets, a bonkers grandpa, nerdiness (one of the definitive comic bookshop scenes ever), brat packers, Corey Feldman, silly comedy and lots of hairspray. If the relationship between the hunky older brother and the gipsy queen of the night had been raunchier, then another of the definitive elements of that decade’s popular cinema, soft erotica/tits flashing Police Academy Style could have also been thrown into the mix…ah!

Anyway, as many of you will know, the Lost Boys of this movie are a bunch of biker leather clad vampires led by mulleted jedi style evil cool Kiefer Sutherland. These dudes have been terrorisising a californian beach resort for ages until they have to face a team of teenage fearless vampire hunters that look and behave like Bart Simpson or, better, the Goonies.

One of the subplots of the movie has to do with the attempts of the aforementioned hunk older brother of the teenage bartmpire hunter at becoming a member of the ‘vampire posse’ as a way of getting the gypsy queen of the night and being cool too, I guess. Of course this is wrong, after all, its ok to be who you are, its wrong to pretend, plus surely those guys do drugs, I mean, they drink blood and stuff. Anyway, the poor hunk changes his mind about becoming a Lost Boy when they take him for his initiation, which involves biting bits off the heads of a bunch of drunk punks (killing them in the process).

The vampires observe the punk troupe from a tree, a couple of mohawk guys are dancing ska and all, and then…

Lightning Bolt-13 Monsters

…their eyes turn yellow and they start flying around and it’s a carnage, a bit like this song by the ever-amazing Lightning Bolt (always play ‘em at 20JazzFunkGreats Night!), taken off their second album ‘Ride the Skies’, where they go all crazy Ramones and unleash a storm of hardcore drums, agressive distortion and frantic screaming upon the listener. Of course poor hunk gets scared and runs away, that vampire trip thing is way too heavy for him!

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