Sunday, February 27, 2005  4:05 pm 

Introducing…Offspring!!

Yeah, you know, this band, they’re real cool dude, and they got tattoos and all, really sick tattoos, you know, with skulls and bones and chicks, and dreadlocks, and they play like, punk rock, yeah, man, theyr radd!! I listen to them while Im in my crib hangin out with my buddies and smoking spliffs, and that puts us in the mood for some proper trashing in the mall!! YEAH! YEAH!

I scared you eh?

No,it’s not that bad…

Offspring is the new device that I have decided to start using whenever I want to post a song but find my temporal resources constrained by other responsibilities and commitments (I don’t really have a life, you know, but some times little things like the thesis i’m writing, work, 24 hours benders or gigs such as the absolutely AWESOME Coachwhips- best of da year so far- which I saw tonite at the Freebutt- interfere with my 100% pure dedication to this likkle bloggy thing). Offspring is an idea nicked from the ace art mag The Illustrated Ape (thanks to Bonny for giving me the last issue as a present), and basically consists of a description of a celebrity as the progeny of two other celebrities somewhere. For example:

Hello Kitty + Ronnie Corbett during a Dwarf Aid charity telethon = Kylie Minogue

Well, gonna do that with bands more or less, maybe leaving aside the sexual aspects sometimes (yucks! sex! hehe he said sex!!!). I know it’s a rubbish idea, very reductionist and simplistic and imprecise blahblah but please excuse me, nobody said I wasn’t rubbish: rubbish people have rubbish ideas, Wittgenstein said it first.

Anyway, you know, any song we post in here is much more than the sum of its influences, it’s sparkled with that wee magic that makes us 20jazzfunkids go WIWIWIWIWIWIWIWI…

So tonite, we present…

The Howling Hex- Cast Aside the False= The Ronnettes going to watch a demolition derby on their first date with the Rolling Stones. Included in the new Howling Hex album, called ‘All Night Fox’ and out in Drag City Records.

Femme Fatale- Tormented by Demons = Steve Vai impalling himself with a mic stand while moshing in a Lightning Bolt gig. Included in the Femme Fatale 2002 ‘Fire Baptism’ mini-album released in Beta:Beat.

And that’s it, yep. Actually it’s taken me as long to write this post as if i had done the usual ranting…argh!

labels >> xxjfg