Tuesday, June 28, 2005  3:54 pm 

Put one finger in a keyboard of water

Cristine - I Freak

Yay! One finger!

Best type of keyboard playing. You could probably get a whole genre out of it. Numan got a few songs out of it. Ok so you got lots of people with keyboards, all playing with one finger, but its still just one finger!

Feel the power of the finger as Cristine does indeed freak like a nerdy little puppet on a string. No mind bending, nothing clever, just a master of puppets with a dogma of repetition like the sound of the crowd.

Even the drum machine sounds one finger. Damn it now that’s purism for you, fuck straight edge just suck down hard on the one finger school of minimalism.

I Freak is one side of a split ep on Cassette with Simian Mobile Disco taking the other side. Anyone who knows who/what the fuck Cristine is could you let us know please?

Mr Miyagi would be proud.

Mr. Miyagi woldn’t be proud of the uses technology is put to these days though. This blog, for example, a place from which two degenerates seem to get weird kicks by spreading musical filth. All about drugs and sex, doing jiggy jiggy and what have you, as if there was nothing else in life.

I can’t, no, I won’t believe that the only thing the Internet can be used for is the dissemination of pornography, star wars gossip, modern ‘noise’ music and second hand goods, no. I won’t accept that the only satisfactions to be derived from this medium are those associated to receiving flattering ‘testimonials’ in ’spaces for friends’ and other simulacra of real community and comradeship.

So today, and in order to fulfill the true possibilities that technology offers for the advancement of everyone of you, readers, as human beings instead of hedonistic consumers guided by pure filthy impulse and an addiction to ‘the latest musical fad’, I have decided to steal this space from the sick individual who ‘owns it’, no, he won’t rant and rave today, he lays unconscious in the floor after being sedated with laudanum. Yes, I have this small virtual stand for myself now, and you’ll have to listen, listen and learn about the wonders of…light…

Bruce Haack- Shine On

(*****)

Hum, Righteous McSelf has left now people, you can go back to all that shooting up, oral sex, dancing like baboons covered in peanut butter or whatever it is you do. The guy is a bit intense but I reckon his intentions are good, and he’s got some taste too!

The track he left is by Bruce Haack, the legendary composer of music for children, founder, together with Esther Nelson, of the lovely Dimension 5 label and master of electronic edutainment (he does it much better than KRS-One I reckon). It is from 1975’s ‘This Old Man’, ‘A electronic musical-poetic treat for elementary and high school people revealing more wonders of our earth-ship’, recently re-released by King Records.

That track is a wonder of geeky poetry, spiralling synth weirdness, technological optimism and enthusiasm for children as little creatures with a brain (no matter what you might believe, that’s what they are), encouraging them to run out and fiddle with nature, start doing experiments, put their little fingers inside a glass of water (that’s what getting ‘a piece of the action’ meant those days) etc., he kicks the ass of any educational stuff arond these days because it estimulates imagination, that’s way more punk than most punk.

I wonder, was any of our dear readers educated using music by this man? how do you feel about it? I reckon, for some reason, that if I had, maybe I would be a better person now, maybe I wouldn’t be here shooting up peanut butter while giving oral sex to a dancing baboon and waiting for ClaraXXX to leave me a testimonial in myspace.

Maybe Righteous’s got a point, after all.

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