Sunday, December 25, 2005  3:25 am 

Presnts

Brief xmas prsents post for you Santa Claus worshipping people and other victims of cultural globalisation. You people who follow other traditions don’t read this or do the right click save as routine until the day your God chose for presents to be given n taken. Also ask yourselves if you are flexible enough for the modern-day work marketplace.

We love everyone.

If you have been bad:

*If your idea of crimbo includes hacking at random people with machetes, or calling your son Nyarlathotep, or tattoing swear words in your family’s foreheads while you sleep, and you dig bestial hardcore infinitesimal pills with a, he he, message, then welcome to the land of bliss and punk rock girl walkyrs who will smash your face with a beer bottle in less than it takes to say Husker Du, Some Girls are back with a new album, ‘Heaven’s pregnant teens’, with a slightly cleaner sound which we dig a lot and besides the usual one two one two of wild punching, karate chops and brass knuckles, includes this dronebeast which is to Spacemen 3 what razors are to needles.

Some Girls- Deathface

Doesn’t this make you feel full of lurv?

If you don’t know how have you been:

*If your idea of dancing includes nailing your feet to the centre of the dancefloor and shaking your head like it was inside a washing mashine with all the dirty laundry, soiled underwear la la of course throwing rays of sulphuric acid sweat all around you while Lightning Bolt crash into the Coachwhips just behind you like that big ball after Indiana Jones then this spiky parcel wrapped in pink and brown is for you, it’s one of the big hits in the Do, people go bananas when James plays it, seen.

Pink and Brown- Messy Bessy, Get Undressy

Doesn’t this make you feel full of shame?

If you have looked pretty:

*If you and a band of fellow black shirt clad conspirators make diagrams and plans and maps full of arrows and, in an apocalypsis of geekiness, even practice the soul blitzkrieg with citadel figures, all in order to take the dancefloor, when Svenonius yells, with utmost efficiency and absolutely no mercy towards the thugs that tend to populate it and shake their stoopid fringes to the latest reaccionary corporate indie rock fad, then this little revolutionary anthem is for you, if lolita was a punk rocker then Nabokov must have been a dead boy.

Nation of Ulysses- The Kingdom of Heaven Must be Taken By Storm

Doesn’t this make you feel full of things to come?

If you have had sex.

*If you have followed 20jazzfunkgreats loyaly and hence are one of those rare winners, an avatar of good taste society envies, sometimes ridicules or even hates, it’s always their fault, theirs, you will know that besides Silver Apples, vintage krautrock (and stripy cardigans and wrangler black jeans), boredoms and Liars, Chromatics are one of those bands we like to drool over, this is the vinyl version of one of our favourite tracks of the year (which we of course brought you first when it was a lil demo), how cool is it, just nod twiktwiktwik and surrender to its Johnny Jewel produced majestic class, if we weren’t a pair of lazy pigs and had made a best tunes of the year list this would have been in the top 5. Gonna be massive in 2006.

Chromatics- Healer (12” version)

Doesn’t this make you feel like riding the mystery train?

If you have danced drunkenly

*If you are one of those off kilter types who like their funk loose and their indie redskinned and wobbly after too much bootleg scotch, and dance shooting love with their fingers like officer Callahan at Police Academy, you get what I mean (then you’re smarter than me), hitting the right target in the right place at the right time, then this lil anthem by the legendary Yummy Fur is the sort of track that will be waiting for you when you get home at 8 AM after a big party where your sneakers magically changed colour. Far out.

Yummy Fur- Plastic Cowboy

Doesn’t this make you feel like 180 BPM?

This goes out with a big hug to our favourite GEnuinE guy (sorry Scott, my keyboard lacks the squid sign).

Merry krishnas people!!!!!

BTW if you wanna buy presents as good as the ones I have already given you, and you are lucky enough to be in Madrid, I’d advise you to go to the Bang! shop in Calle Pez, Manuel Dolby/Jackson Brownie who takes care of business already sorted out my vinyl fix with lots of awesome lps at a very nice price. They also sell t-shirts, second hand records, books, comic-books and toys, a very nice place indeed.

Support your local indie dealer!!

PS- Going to the village to see gramps now people, have some merry xmas, might see you before new year…

labels >> xxjfg

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