I smiled.

Myspace…oh, I could go on about myspace for ages.

(Skip the next paragraph and do something worthwhile with your life mate)

((I could go on about ‘emo-haircuts’ and how the difussion of digital cameras has changed the fine art of portraiture, about stalkers and lame bands, about spam from lame bands (‘hey cool photos, you should check out my band yeh?’ hehe) and faceless prostitutes, random bulletin boards written by bored teenagers advertising portraits taken with digital cameras while Rupert Murdoch watches over, too emo for his face, could go on about lame prostitutes who post portraits of band spam stalkers, about self-actualisation and coke addled men slagging off everything I just mentioned in paradoxical bulletin boards, and lame blogs where people slag everything off including those who slag everything off and myself because I have worked myself up into this confused nicotine-deprived fury. Don’t start smoking kids, because if you start you might have to quit and see what happens. FUN!!))

Myspace is great!!

Sometimes you’re prowling around there and a band jumps on top of you and bites your face off.

Little Claw did it to me. Well, they didn’t actually bite my face off, they tore it from my skull, and made a drum with the skin, a guitar with the vertebrae in my neck, hairs for strings, what was left screamed.

Full of love, of course.

Little Claw have released a 12” in Ypsilanti records, who also put out that lovely screen printed tenderworns LP by Genders. There is a resemblance between both bands: dissonance, tension, restraint and drone, Chromatics soaked in oil and burn, instead of glowing with a radioactive neon light.

A similar shadow in the vibe, like a cat and a wolf, but this bites the juicy bone of Comus’ bizarro folk, Lydia Lunch’s no wave infection, the Velvet psychotic distorted tribal beat, some stoner riffage, no disco here really, or one full of ghosts, only trace of dub is the scar of a voodoo ritual.

Little Claw- Ice Age

Looking forward to many more scary and painful evenings with little Claw, we are poisoned now, we’ll track their trail through the snow and keep you posted about any future movements. For now, just buy the self-titled 12” at Rough Trade because it’s beautiful.

We have mentioned myspace and we have talked about faces shredded apart, you know what’s next, don’t you?

We told you not that long ago about a pair of toronto 8-bit lizard superstars disguised as buff humanoid superstars who are coming to fucking bite your ass with pixelated 2-D fangs, their music opens News bulletins about a secret war being waged while you blink, pay more attention or you’ll miss out you idiot.

It’s Crystal Castles!!!

With more Neuromantic trash genius, heavy metal casio duracell-powered ballads and beats that drop like napalm tetris pieces making japanese robo-teddy bears with sharp claws cry n implode (off) or explode n slash throats (on)! It’s all about the aggro switch!

*Off*

Crystal Castles- No Skin

*On*

Crystal Castles- Mother knows Best

Choose both & enjoy the paradox, now seriously this stuff does get 20JFGS juices going…can’t wait for some proper physical release (understand whatever you want you perverts) and some t-shirts!! Best fucking design in the block!

Find out the scary/scaly truth if you dare asking.

And we will close today with one of Scott’s Do staples, by those masters of euro-contemptuous analog dance a go go, Stereo Total, this is included in their Discotheque remix thing, just listen to the lyrics.

Stereo Total- Everybody in the Discotheque (I hate) (We Love Motor Mark mix)

And guess…

a)- Did we start the Do because we felt like this about other clubs?

b)- Do we feel this way about the Do?

Of course ‘a’ is true and ‘b’ is false, we love you Doers, how could we not?

U R THE CUTEST!! AND THE NICEST! N THE BESTESTS

But keep on your toes, that is, dancing and behave well people…

OFF NOW, HAVE A NICE EVENING AND RECEIVE FLIP FLOP FLYING KISSES N HUGS FROM BRIGHTON

(this nicotine withdrawal thing makes me feel real mellow sometimes)

Epilogue -
This post is tagged with addled bored teenagers bulletin boards digital cameras face off hehe juicy bone lame little claw lydia lunch portraits prostitutes resemblance rupert murdoch slag smoking kids something worthwhile spam stalkers