Good evening argonauts,

Tonight I’m gonna take you on a tour, the mediterranean clubs where all the adventurous kiddies go and try to leave their bodies by various means and methods, anything necessary, some things that you quite won’t be acustomed to, so I think we’ll fit each and every one of you with your own individual papyrus, so that you can write about these bad little kiddies, doin’ these bad little things, for tonight’s post, so whatabout your fifthteen dracmas and prepare to get mythical.

Papyrus’s ready prepare to FLASH

Begin slow & cosmic with that sorcerer Lindstrom rocking it like Atlantis never’d gone under, picture the tanned cretans partying in the beach in a scene straight outta Jackie Treehorn’s Malibu commune, all joyous & lascivious italo-beats, teasing silken synth bellydancers and the most brutal minotaur bass ever to stomp Giorgio Moroder’s immortal skull, if someone deserves ten minutes of your time for a righteous disco epic, it’s this man from the north, Homer would be proud.

Telex- Do Worry (Lindstrom Remix)

From the legendary electropoppers Telex’ Do Worry remix 12 inch (the Bangkok Impact remix is sheer italo drama too and makes us smile & wiggle like teenagers let loose in some neon lit andalucian coastal arcade).

After which we land in a mysterious Egyptian beach of white and silvery sands, hide behind those skeletal bushes from the gaze of impossible gods marching in an eternal procession of metronomic and beautiful disco-post-punk eeriness, animal eyes and stiff human bodies are briefly iluminated by flickering torchlights, powerful feet stomp through a wet and sinuous oily simmering bass, it’s a sphynxploitation flick you’re witnessing dear Argonauts, meet you at the Pyramids and make sure no-one tails you.

Archie Bronson Outfit- Dead Funny (Dusty Cabinets Remix)

Sam Deven Miles is one of 20Jazzfunkgreats’ most beloved Londoners, you know how the big smoke it’s so big and we are only little and afraid of people and we feel like owls that need a cuddly nest where they can be safe? Well, whenever we go up there Sam takes care of us because he’s ever so nice. He’s also funny as fuck and has got an amazing taste and, as you can see from the track above, can manipulate the sounds and the dynamics: yeah, besides being a block rocking DJ he has started, as Dusty Cabinets to remix & edit tunes, this dark bass-heavy sizzling remix of the Archie Bronson Outfit which sounds like the Rapture on some rather baaaad dawn of the rawbots trip is the first example we wanted to bring you, there’ll be more in the future, be afraid and excited you, erm, phoenicians.

And we finish our adventures at some lost rave in the Catalonian coast, climb the cliffs, we are close, this is a weird land but we got friends here, Xavi is preparing the whiskey mix and the soundsystem is banging analogue ghostly layers of acid that bury poor Baby Ford like an avalanche of psychotic dayglo flying jellyfish, the disconcerted loop smacks us in the side of the face when we get to the clear in the midst of the mediterranean forest, which for some weird reason brings to mind Black Hole, mutilated plastic dolls hang from the trees, there’s something hidden here waiting to get us, it’s the end of a trip and the beginning of another when an army of yellow bucked teeth smiling genetically engineered Richard D. James warped harpy clones fly from behind the moon and attack us, our eyes are pecked and our necks bit and our arteries chewed out, we still spazz out and rave like cunts to the last thud of a jerky breakbeating heart.

Here rest die argonauts (in pieces).

Based on a true story, like.

Baby Ford- Normal (Heston Flora Mix by AFX)

This sounds as cool now as it did last saturday at 7 O’Clock AM, right. Find it in the Aphex 26 remix for cash comp. Cheers to Genuine for the tip, as ever.

Come to Lilo Feast at the Penthouse (above the freebutt, brighton) ON FRIDAY

Eightpm-oneam free entry ghetto cheap drinks

Hosted by CHADTODDBRUCE
with friends in high places, UNDERsCORE, nicknightmare, [living with chadtoddbruce] and sarah’s boyfriend and sarah

Playing ambiguous electro/guitarz/grime/noize action music

>>plus!

LILOS! LIVE HANGINGS VOTED BY YOU! QUESTIONNAIRES! SNACKZ! AND MORE!

Some 20Jazzfunkgreats cats will be there and look forward to the hangings specially if it’s them. We know you agree dear readers…or wouldn’t this shoddy zine be better if it was written by the UNDEAD?

Have scary dreams…

Epilogue -
This post is tagged with Cosmic grime italo moroder rave