Friday, December 15, 2006  11:07 am 

GET SILLY & DANCE

Say you thought of having this New Year’s eve party but now you are doubtful about what to play. Say you told your friends it was going to be a dance party, and by dance you didn’t mean whatever, as in do people do their ironing to Les Georges Leningrad, we hope they do, but you meant dance. And you were wondering, woo, so many 12” out there, so many sub-genres and stuff, what can I buy, what should I play? Are you asking us?

We don’t like dance music so we can’t help you, sorry blud.

Let me rephrase that.

Actually we love dance music.

But there are too many shitty jams and two-bit acts out there giving the genre a tad of a bad name, which is business as usual in all walks of life, but I won’t get in there, life is short and so are attention spans, enough, we’re going to very briefly identify a couple of features that make us go, yeah, dance, fuck categories and the rest, this is hot shit and if you played it in your party and 20Jfg were there they’d shake and twirl happily, like polydimensional sea horseys floating in the celestial caribbean coral reefs of a neverending Jacques Cousteau documentary.

You know the score, we have to be the usual, dig this, cynic punks who discover hope, their inner child and what not, like this was an 80s high school flick, so we are going to use the counter-example technique, tell you what’s wrong with the stuff we consider wrong and then go, yeah, this way, better, look, we’re dancing like happy clowns, for the win, as always.

So what’s wrong?

Generic beats programmed by Nathan Barley’s dad, cliched formulas (the electro-clash bassline, discopunk beat, poundland glitches & quiet to loud epic dynamics- not everyone is Vitalic blud- old skool rave sound effects lately), indie-dance remixes (the bane of our existence) and indie dance more generally (rank britpop vocals on top of the genre du jour, who’d thought it?), this whole ‘let’s play live all the rock kids are doing it and they sell lots and get laid so hire some hack to play drums and let’s put some riffs in too’ thang, pro-tools super-professional production, ableton becoming the photoshop of djing (we love guys & gals who use it well though), eternal lengths for what come on bo-o-oring (only DFA and three other people out there can pull this right), Gattopardo style loops (plus ca change…) and above all the fucking seriousness of it all, come on people, let’s have fun and…

GET HARDCORE!!

Avoid the middle of the road like Jesus did with Satan’s emerald mittens, it’s a party, everyone is drunk, they won’t notice.

GET SILLY!

So here’s what we like…

ATTITUDE

It needn’t be complicated but bang that drum machine like you were darth vader pounding that upitty redneck bastard luke skywalker into total submission. Put some warmth in it G, even if the warmth is cold (Nitzer Ebb, Motor). That’s the DFA secret (and Tim G’s studio magic, of course) and it works, excitement is contagious and so is the fever.

Just check out the sheer exhilariting JACKING power of the two tunes below, nothing fancy yeah, nothing you haven’t heard before (perhaps two hundred rip-offs) but they fucking kill it, we 20JFG guys are hardcore empiricists, but I swear to Roland fragments of Armando and Mike ‘Hitman’ Wilson’s jaunty spirits, and of all the mentalists who partied to these sounds somehow got transmogrified into these tunes… for jaded post-modernist mopeabout crews this ain’t young padawan.

Armando- 100% of Disin’ You

Mike ‘Hitman’ Wilson- Bango Acid

THE ZONE

Dance music isn’t supposed to be smart, although it can of course be, but it is foremost about creating a moment of sheer dancefloor glory using repetitive rhythms and stupid sounds which good DJs will select and mix for your pleasure, the rest is a bonus. That’s the reason Soulwax rule so much djing, it’s not about perfect beatmatching (nuff respect) but about slamming the crowds with the best bits beats n booms of an awesome record collection put together with flair and let’s face it, opportunism. (Genuine & me can attest to their proficiency as far as we remember from primavera sound last spring)

Just check out this tune by C.L.A.W.S. included in Tigerbeat6’s let’s Lazertag sometime sweet as it’s awesome comp, I mean, just the bleeping wobbling jolly sillyness that culminates on the hip-quaking bassline of minute 0.55 justifies the track, and their nascent career, cheers chaps. We also approve of feline-featuring artworks generally, a bonus as I said.

C.L.A.W.S.- Claws Theme

MELODY IS A RHYTHM TOO

And so are silly noises, one of the advantages of using modern technology to make music is you aren’t limited by the range of sounds you can exorcise from a guitar (and holy Thurston knows there are a few), you have the whole fucking universe at your disposal, so if you are going to make dance music, fuck cheap-ass breakbeat guitar samples and sample a supernova please.

And why do Daft Punk, Justice or the Neptunes rock so much? Because melody is beating hard in their tracks, dance with the bones & the heart. Same for Crystal Castles.

Talking about Crystal Castles (big love!), fucking hell, I remember hearing them described as 8-bit v Vitalic, well, if I was going to be lazy I could say this killer by Lillica Libertine is Crystal Castles vs Vitalic which means 8-bit vs Vitalic vs Vitalic which means 8-bit vs Vitalic SQUARE excuse me, I’m gonna press rewind 2 blow my mind. Class.

Lillica Libertine- Loose Lips Sink Ships

LAST TUNE

So anyway, that’s a few things we like, there are more but we’ll leave them for some other time, still the party ain’t over, nah, we mentioned a imaginary New Year’s eve bash at the beginning yeah (if you’re in brighton go to das Klingelton at the Hope by the way, big up our blud Chaddtoddbruce), well, we have a little something we think you should perhaps play as part of the countdown to 2007, it’s got all the ingredients mentioned above, like, dope efervescent drum kicks and punches, and well, riffs and melody, erm, yeah, I mean, hello, this is fucking EUROPE 20jfg hero & Tigerbass stalwart Drop the Lime is using, for christ’s sake, bucketloads of that. And enough gunshots to keep a crip club happy.

Drop the Lime- The Final Crackdown

And perhaps it’s a bit novelty but then dance music wasn’t made to last, it’s supposed to capture a moment of fun/craziness/sweat/fervour down there on the floor, some stuff lasts, yeah, that’s the stuff of legend.

Like

GO HOME

And now the aural party is over, yeah, but there comes the last song, it’s important to choose well, you know something spiritual to make folks realise they’re not just body but also soul, something deep to send them scurrying back to their lairs.

But not here! Now you are in 20JFG club and the rules are warped, we said we like silly and silly it will be til the bitter end, there you have one of the most gloriously warmest sweetest uplifting tunes we’ve listened to for a while, brought to you by DMX Crew as part of Creme Organisation’s lovely tribute to Robert Moog, now, seriously, the human party is over, it’s pixie time, go home, but please dance to this as you abandon the premises, and think of all that Robert Moog has done for you…

DMX Crew- Yellow Taxi

THINGS TO DO IN BRIGHTON WHEN YOU’RE AWESOME

DOCLUB XMACKS FRIDAY TONITE
CORE CLUB
10-3.30AM
5quid/4 NUS-Id people/3 if you go to 20jazzfunkgreats at the Penthouse before & get your hand stamped when you buy a drink.
Bring ID

Nasty logistics meant Wet Dog had to pull out boo, but they will be coming on the 19th January with Agasdoko Teliverek and genius Max Tundra, like.

PLAYING LIVE

Gay Against You= Adaadat prog 8-bit shriek pop or The Unicorns vs Queen vs Scotch Egg. Ramalama yeah. Gig of da year, standard.

Band on at 11.30 be there or miss out big time.

And Do DJs play the indie noise basement hits for your pleasure.

20jazzfunkgreats at the Penthouse before, 7ish til 1, free entry, vee cheap alcoholic xmas presents and all those apocalyptic disco noise jams to make you puke, with special fill-in guest, Genuine Heights denizen Robin. He will play things that are horrible but in a fucking haaaawwwwt way, yep.

*LOVE*

And Saturday go to A Life Lost at the Hope.

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As a bonus, and to wrap nicely what we have been talking about here, just check out our man E*Rock soundchecking live, again, he’s got all of the above and some more, love!

labels >> xxjfg