Wednesday, December 27, 2006  12:47 pm 

NY Excuse

So we said we’d see you in the new year, A-HA we were lying, nah, we found ourselves in this Arthur Gordon Pym style situation, chased by feral cats and having to hide in the pooter room. Since we are going to have to stay here till some unsuspecting visitor comes in the house, true star of a conspicuous and involuntary distraction maneouvre which will leave him or her facing a reservoir of bristling feline wrath too big for human hands to handle, we thought we might as well type-bit-bleep-type-trip n throw a handful of tunes at you, they be guaranteed to improve those NY party prospects.

DODGE!

We also wanted to recommend a couple of things to do if you’re around wherever they are happening on NYs eve and so on, feel free to add suggestions in the comment box so we do this thing in true Open Source dare we say web 2.0 lol fashion and our lovely readership has a chance to find a *fun* hijink to attend no matter what is their location in the global scene (whoah).

CONTRIBUTE!

But first those tunes, blud.

In 1995 there was M Bangalter: Genuine Guy and Alexis say that by that time he was already doing the best house music ever, and that’s before fucking Daft Punk kids, some CV, Trax on da Rocks contains the genetic blueprint of most mindblowing styles that were to be danced after, including, admittedly, some things that went a bit out of hand (filtered disco anyone).

‘What to Do’, for example, is Baltimore 10 years before Baltimore if Baltimore was in france, like dat, it fucking fulfills all our criteria for hottness in dance music with such a vengeance we can’t even type anymore, it’s all gone wrong and the cats have penetrated the safe zone, ring the alarm.

Thomas Bangalter- What to Do

Wise kids Alexis & Genuine Guy will be DJing at the New Year Massacre thing at Luminaire in London this Sunday 31st (Fucked Up play live and stuff), brap, Real Gold Crew representing.

But we are going into the future now, man, don’t neglect the present or you might end up a corpse in a corner: as we type, 20jazzfunkgreats guys are fighting for their lives against a pack of unruly bloodthirsty cats, and it sounds a little something like this…

Drop the Lime- Wake Up Call (Infants remix)

It’s a heart-breaking battle, even if 20JFG win they lose, because that means cats lose and everyone knows 20JFg are in cats’ n kittens’ team.

Press click and change the perspective, besides soundtrack for the aforementioned clash of the species, this tune is also (and perhaps more importantly if you ain’t us) pt 2 of the mindblowing battle pitching our hero Drop the Lime v spazz noise pop stalwarts Infants, part 1 we brought to you some time ago, it went…

Infants- Firetruk (Drop the Lime remix)

And we loved it. Anyhow, pt 2 is fucking awe too, say, braindamaged rave soca no wave with guitars-crashing sounds-vocals from the crypt-anthemic synths crisscrossing the sonic balance fabric tru tigerstyle, throwing our bodies left and right like we were demoniacs, merciless cat shadows close behind for the kill, aye, awe I say.

We’re well stoked to have Infants playing at the Do on the 2nd of February, it’s gonna be some party. Before that, catch them on the 12th JANUARY at Sick of Nature at Club 333 with golden fave kids Yeborobo and Tigerbeat6 motherfuckers Drop the Lime & Knifehandchop yeah yeah yeah we’re so there.

Which brings us, a la Kevin Bacon via the Tigerbass Records myspace favourites thang to Curses!, who has but sent us to a corner of the ceiling jedi mindtricks style with this hyper-excited hyper-exciting blast of whatchacallit who cares DANCE!.

Curses!- Tearing me Apart

Or more fun sounds than the Death Star studio after a X-Wing proton torpedo bingo, this is full-on fun rave music to make the glowstick chaff posers shit their pants and run back to the indie club if that’s what they’re really into, leave the dancefloor for the wheat fed bad ass weirdoes. We don’t know if this kid is signed or what, but we think Ed Banger better get on his case cos this whole distorted bleepy melody heavy metal rave thing (check out the rest of the tracks in his profile and sweat blud) could give Justice a run for their money if this was a competition, which it ain’t, we shall enjoy both well mixed, brap.

And because we appreciate coherence above all things, except mices, let us make the final connection to end this post.

We heard something.

Did it sound as if a million voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced?

No it was Shige Scotch Egg disembowelling Jar jar Binks with his laser hand-held video game console.

DJ Scotch Egg- Scotch Vader

I think Scotch Vader, from his Kriss records Rmx or die 10” is as good a tune to end my 20JFg year as anything else I’m ever going to find: Gameboy gabba prog + Star Wars nostalgia + noise noise noise & I’m in heaven. I am warning you, 2007 is going to be Scotch Egg’s year so you better get ready, it’s gonna be raining 8 bit lightning bolts til the cows come back home.

And you better start it at…

…IF IN BRIGHTON…

DAS KLINGELTON!!
an all-nite, two floor, live bandz, mega dj face-off OMG super party
NYE2006/7 at the hope
only 5 quid adv (7 at the door)

Starring..
THEY CAME FROM THE STARS (I SAW THEM) live

THE STICKS live, soon to release an upset the rhythm split with hands on head woo.

plus..
SARAH’S EXBOYFRIEND exclusive live PA

djs from..
LILO FEAST
THE DO
IT CAME FROM THE SEA
NASCENT
MATHS CLASS

IF IN LONDON

Go to see hardcore legends Fucked Up destroy the Luminaire & Real Gold DJs (and Genuine Guy) keep the party pumping til the early morning (surely later than Snoop!)

And Max Tundra and Dreamburger do Motherfucker at Barden’s

Now add your suggestions below, and have fun no matter what. Also pray for the soul of your little spanish 20JFG guy who is probably going to be in some rather nasty places that night, coming across as an elitist de-naturalized wanker no matter what he says or does.

PEACE

****POST-POST MALARKEY****

Forgot to say this post is for Mr make people dance James Brown

Also, might post something on friday with your party plans for sunday, leave them in the comment box and share the love kids.

labels >> xxjfg