In a parallel universe where maniacal barbarian mothers out Christmas shopping (or, slaying street walkers with their flaming brimstone prams) do not exist, 20JFG kids swan about like dandy divas across vast hallways. These hallways freeze into glistening ice rinks in the winter months and we can be seen amongst the ghouls, banshees and spectres, zooming around on customised Converse ice skates, sipping fine wine, smoking cocktail cigarettes, y’know generally being a bit cunty.

Traxx ft. Legowelt – Stranger In The Strangest Of Lands

How do you ice skate successfully in frozen Hell to staccato alien death-electro throb, we hear you ask? Well thats our own damned secret and we are not telling you. Its obvious why we dig this, it ticks all the boxes:

-Piercing horror house atmospherics, check.
-1980′s metallic kick drums, check.
-Frazzled arpeggiator death-rattles, check.
-Ice storm hi-hat, check.

In short this is fucking amazing! Check it out on the 12″ from Creme Organization.

Nothing melts our cold machine hearts, but maybe our readers will be delighted by our friend Robin’s current obsession? Let him convince you:

Last week I introduced a friend of mine to this track and in doing so told him it was “quite nice”. Looking back on this, I can only conclude that I’m a fucking idiot. I should have said what I really think about this track, and that it’s not quite nice, but actually perfection! In fact it’s the kind of song that would have Madonna on all fours desperately scratching at its creator’s door if she ever got wind of it. Sadly for Madonna, Robyn got there first, but I’m sure that’s ok. She’s busy with her increasingly Benetton style family these days anyway. Robyn, for those who don’t know, is the teen pop exile who had a big hit in the late 90′s that was so successful, people feel the need to tell you it was even big in America. Woo, etc. Well after that Robyn had some more hits in her native Sweden that the Americans didn’t like, and then last year released one of the best, and most bizarre pop albums to emerge in a long time that, well, some Americans liked. Bloggers mainly. Kleerup, I know hardly anything about, except that on his myspace page he lists Neu!, Giorgio Moroder, and Fleetwood Mac as his influences, which in a clinical way does some of the work in helping me tell you what this sounds like.

Kleerup ft. Robyn – With Every Heartbeat

To really explain what this sounds like, Robyn, with Kleerup in tow, has created what sounds like the soundtrack to her own Heavenly ascension. A synthesizer sighs, and a propulsive electro beat shoots into the sky breaking through the clouds. One by one, an array of spectral italo flavoured bleeps and bloops materialise from nowhere joining in as our heroine, surrounded by dozens of luminescent angels, journeys forward, culminating in a middle section where everything comes to a dramatic halt, and the sound of a string section fills the air, perfectly capturing the moment the bright shards of light that have been raining down finally turn everything white. Sigh… It would all be so beautiful if it weren’t for that coda though, “and it hurts with every heartbeat”. It’s with those repeated words that it dawns on you. You’ve been taken in by the beauty at work here, and failed to really hear what Robyn has been saying all along, and now at this point you can detect a small tear forming in one of her eyes. You realise those angels aren’t angels, but ghosts, and those clouds aren’t clouds, but fog. This isn’t really Heaven at all, but purgatory, a place where Robyn sounds stuck, trapped inside her own heartache, for what sounds like an eternity. Having the whole thing sound so deceptively heavenly, is what ultimately makes it all the more haunting.

(Footnote: Anyone with access to the Hype Machine can see that this has been on many other blogs in the last few weeks, but from time to time we hear stuff that we feel simply MUST be represented on this page, love and scaring x)

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Last Friday’s XXJFG was mega fffun (alas, not for the hip-hop-haters, shit we were drunk, blah), our friend Robin helped out to great effect, here are the setlistsssss (No Prince though, sorry, we were rubbish):

Juan’s xmas fun for family and friends megamix

John Carpenter- Escape from NY main theme
Genius/GZA- Liquid Swords
Jaylib- The Heist
Jay Z- Dirt off Your Shoulder
Cypress Hill- A to the K
Silver Apples- Oscillations
Erase Errata- Owls
Mars- Helen Forsdale
Need New Body- Totally Pos Paas
-&&-
Yellow Swans- True Union
Liars- Don’t Techno for an Answer
Vitalic- Valleta Fanfares
LFO- Freak
Liars- Broken Witch
Dizzee Rascal- Off to Work
Hawnay Troof- Believe
Knifehandchop- All over your face
DJ Godfather- Bang the Box
Daft Punk- Da Funk

XXJFG Gets Crunked:

Robin’s Set
Zeigenbock Kopf- Machine Gun
Pase Rock- Lindsay Lohan
The Knife- Christmas Reindeer
Ciara ft. Lil Jon- That’s Right
Clipse- Mr Me Too
Ice Watches- Wats 4 Dinner
Crime Mob- What Is Love
n0 things- Coward
Kleerup ft Robyn- With Every Heartbeat
Puyo Puyo- Minet Minet
Dirty Projectors- Not Having Found
Rammellzee- Jamin Zabar Jamin Zabar
Sunship ft. Warrior Queen- Almighty Father
Juelz Santana- Clockwork
Xiu Xiu- Boy Soprano
Keak Da Sneak- Played You
Swans- Money Is Flesh 45rpm
Pink & Brown- Black Pearl
Coughs- Homeland
Margaret Berger- Samantha
Wizardzz- Chasing Our Shadows
Brandy- What About Us
Brooks- Do The Math
Ciara- Promise
Ghost Royalty- Sphinx
Kelis- Blindfold Me
Neon Hunk- My Unicorn: My Ride
Lazy Magnet- You’re All Cunts And I Hate You
Black Dice- Gore
Smog- No Dancing
Hella- Dis
Lil Kim- Kitty Box
Slim Thug- Diamonds
Da Backwudz- I Don’t Like The Look
Buraka Som Sistema- Yeh

Steve’s Set:
Klaus Schulze- Some Velvet Phasing
Glass Candy- Lovin’ Machine (Nite Vocode)
Denton & Cook- Theme From Tomorrow’s World
Kraftwerk- Spacelab
Chromatics- Witness
Dominatrix- Sleeps Tonite
Doctor’s Cat- Crash (DJ Mooner Edit)
-&&-
The Egyptian Lover- One Track Mind
Missy Elliott- On & On
Jon E Cash- Evil (Bonus)
Jon E Cash- Battle
Liars- They Don’t Want Your Corn, They Want Your Kids
FPU- Crockett’s Theme (Tiga’s White Linen Vox)
Shocking Pink- Love Buzz
Channels 3×4- The Queen
Missy Elliott- Lose Control
Sexual Harrassment- If I Gave You A Party
Killing Joke- Almost Red
Breakwater- Release The Beast
Quintron & Miss Pussycat- Witch In The Club
Grabba Grabba Tape- Dr. Yrostronic & Lil Kul Lol
Minimal Compact- Babylonian Tower (Optimus Dub)
Death Sentence: PANDA!- Wild Thing
Nine Inch Nails- The Hand That Feeds (DFA Remix)
Black Dice- Endless Happiness (EYE Remix)

Epilogue -
This post is tagged with cold machine cunty current obsession death rattles frazzled friend robin frozen hell fucking idiot ghouls hallways hi hat italo john carpenter kick drums madonna maniacal moroder native sweden parallel universe prams robyn street walkers teen pop