Sam is one of the most intelligent people we know, he’s a good person and he knows his stuff, do you need any more information? He’s writing for us today, and this is awesome, so say ‘hi Sam’ and ‘thanks Sam’. Hope you’re buying, cos we’re buying…

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Drums are the new guitars. They were the old guitars too yeah? Give a man a surface and he’ll bang bang bang it. But enough of that there’s a story to be told, and it starts a long long time ago:

The ancients wrote a book about the future, and guess what? They got it all right. In one memorable chapter they foresaw their ancestors- a tight-knit tribe of hip Americans- pounding drums like their shamans did, pounding them until their hearts swelled up, their vision pixelated, and their bodies shook beyond their control.

This is all true. See it on the Discovery Channel soon.

They even knew we would have strange machines to replicate those otherworldly sounds, those sounds that could once only inhabit the inner space of the sages. They knew mankind wouldn’t forget…the freak out! One feral group of freaky kids they wrote about called themselves Raccoo-oo-oon.

Raccoo-oo-oon- Mirror Blanket

As an anthropology project we took a trip back to the aforementioned ancient period to conduct some research. You get bonus marks for travelling back through history, it shows ‘initiative’, and the time-machine needed a good dusting anyway. We wrapped sandwiches and clean underwear. I took my Walkman, my favourite Slits cassette, and a pioneering recording device you’ll be seeing in Stuff magazine soon enough.

I found a tribal kid picking strange mushrooms. He looked at me wide-eyed and peaceful, so I gave him the headphones. Then I recorded the sound in his mind.

It sounded like this:

The New Sound of Numbers- Frequency Transmission Systems

Then he disappeared into the forest. It emerged five thousand years later that he found our time-machine and went joy-riding. We didn’t know because he returned it half a second before stealing it. He wrote down everything he saw, which explains the accuracy of the book. Apparently after that he got all the girls in the village too.

Check The New Sound of Numbers here and buy ‘liberty seeds’ here

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*We have read ‘A Sound of Thunder’ and are sorry for any disruption to the course of time our trip may have caused*

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Juan’s off to bed with a nice book, but before sliding into a bizarro world of evil nightmares, lightning silver swords of rage and secret rituals involving the sacrifice of small squids to rusty gaping saucepans in exchange for a bag of gold and the secret of Vheissu, he’d like to add that The New Sound of Numbers psyche-rock his world because they sound like Y Pants if they got Jaki Liebezeit drummings with changed hands. Sweet stuff, baby Jesus.

Nite Nite kids!

And thanks, Sam!

Epilogue -
This post is tagged with ancient period anthropology project bang bang bang bonus marks clean underwear discovery channel drums inner space jaki liebezeit joy riding memorable chapter new guitars old guitars oo oon otherworldly pixelated rave strange machines stuff magazine time machine years later that