Monday, February 26, 2007  4:10 pm 

Join in the Hymn vs Senor Love Daddy and the Whole Sick

There are few things that your nefarious emotionally retarded 20jazzfunkgreats diablos like more than a bagel, one of them is songs with SILLY CHORUSES that get the kids in the dancefloor united like epileptic lemmings, young goats goaded into the terrordrome and each other as the strobes blink and the drinks spill, singing & jumping to inane lyrics like this was the Pentecostal church of mentalism and they were channeling the power of some prankster God by speaking stoopid tongues, testify, oh yeah, but why, just shake it up.

Disclaimer, I don’t know if they sing hymns at the pentecostal church of mentalism, and I can’t be bothered to check it out using the pooter. AFAIK Michael Meyer played a well banging minimal techno edit of their ‘04 single in his last fabric comp. Now, you’re right, I never listened to that.

Say last year’s winner from 20JFG’s favourite Green Velvet, you know the score, that christian straight edge remix of Alvin the Chipmunk that wears Sky Glasses and sits on his shoulder going SHAKE N POP SHAKE N POP SHAKE N POP SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE POP POP POP, say what, all the people in the disco SHAKE N POP SHAKE N POP SHAKE N POP SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE POP POP POP, even more hysterical than usual in this ghettotech remix by Gantman which pushes all the right buttons in the right order at the right speed, which is waaaaay toooooo fast sending us in a spiral into oblivion like the bereaved puppets we are.

Green Velvet- Shake and Pop (Gantman remix)

(cheers to Ramp Records for fedback on errata above)

Say, Claude Von Stroke spreading the spreadable everyone likes to something, or USA’s answer to Shepherd Pie over back to ‘89 nutricious beats, fun farty noises, epic horns that would have made the 45 king jingle baby, and even a telephone call from the tasty side of the tracks *ring ring*, pick it up and receive Buckwheat Boyz’ immortal&eternal nutshell of wisdom, PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME. Mine in a bagel, please.

Claude Von Stroke- Peanut Butter Jelly Time (Claude VonStroke and Julio Ingles Miami Doodoo Bootleg)

Go to top class beatdown blog These Rocks Pop for more Claude Von Stroke.

&&

This was going to be a different post but then I was, aw, whatever, might as well put all the booty in the trunk and take you for a longer ride, I always post shiteloads of tunes whenever I do a boogie down one because I like the party to last. So yeh, first, as Mr. Senor Love Daddy would have it, ‘We’re slowing it down for all the lovers in the house. we’ll be giving you all the help you need, musically, that is‘.

And that’s the truth, ruth.

Curtis Vodka comes from Alaska, we reckon he needed to keep warm in those polar cold nights the films tell us they get over these, so he just started crafting tunes. He’s been causing quite a splash over here with some remixes of erm, Uffie (no love lost there), and the YYYs but we reckon his own stuff’s where it’s at, he makes these super-smooth sassy sexy baltimore-tinged R&B tunes which strangely remind me of UK Garage at its pass me the Moet Chandon soulful best, and totally set the mood for some New Jack City swing sofa action for those who get some, just check out his lovely Yeti Bounce EP for more, erm, dare I say it, chilled beats, heh. 20JFG never went down so smoooooth.

Curtis Vodka- Hey Girl

Then, an introduction, go and add The Whole Sick in the myspace, I hear they be doing a party in Brighton and apparently they like to get stoopid and play songs like ‘Get F’ed Up’ by legendary Philly rogues Bo Bliz and Emynd, who throw it all up in their new ‘White Tees White Belts EP’, also released by our favouritest label Flamin’ Hotz Records. Dumb horns, broken bottles and heavy duty neuronal spillage to keep it goin’, keep it movin’, messy.

Bo Bliz & Emynd- Get Fucked Up

This raucous chorus brings us back to the beginning in a perfect example of circular narrative, bodies stumble and fall around like this was an alkaholic remix of Saving Private Ryan.

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This post goes to all the readers of Q magazine who support 20jazzfunkgreats, people, are you really there? is that thing I’ve read true?? or is it a fabrication? Fucking hell. Next thing I hear, 20jazzfunkgreats win a Brit Award.

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GOES TO BED WITH HIS SOCK MONKEY

labels >> alcoholism, religion