Wednesday, February 28, 2007  4:10 pm 

Asses, Backstage Passes, Glasses

Classic disco punk - check.
Ableton set to 130bpm - check.
Modern beats to put in - check.
Distorted bass line - check.

Oh hang on a minute, is this what we really want done to every single record? Are we so drugged up that we refuse to dance to anything else? Is the remote possibility that someones flaccid limbs may fail to flail ’cause it’s not homogenised enough for a Soulwax-u-like set a real reason to do a clubfoot remix? Surely with the brothers their original reason for fame was the ability to play records which didn’t all sound so magnolia?

Of course in reality all these remixes are done for weekend funky ‘ouse djs that like a bit of Kasabian, and that latest Ministry of Sound electro compilation, or are they?

Are you in an indie band/old revived guitar outfit but feel confined by the limitations of your guitar and drums, like a bit of dance music and want to show the good people how open minded you are and how your radio 1 friendly hit could actually be a pumpin’ club choon in another reality?

Here are some suggestions for you –

Form an electronic spin off group, like that one Joy Division did, you never know you might be quite good at it.

Experiment in the studio with some electronic stuff for fun, it can help your song structures, make great b-sides, evolve as an artist and most importantly will really piss off the marketing department in there targeted niche demographic (be careful with this one after 6 months on ecstasy on tour)

Collaborate very closely with a clever friend who thinks your clever for all the things they cannot do.

Do it yourself - trust us, it’s the future.

But…

When it comes to that old remix though, move away from the cutting hedge ‘lectro. Topiary is not for everyone.

We are not saying all remixes are all bad per sey, Trevor Jackson’s Gossip rips like shit and that classic Max Tundra of Franz plays a blinder.

You know what we really like though ? – an unremix.

Yoko Ono - Walking On Thin Ice (With Spiritualized)

Yoko and Spiritualized bring her erstwhile unlikely but come what may perennial dance floor filler into a space of Christmas feedback with Phil Spector and some unhinged guitar hero scrawling a filthy graffiti symphony across the screeching train wrecked carriages.

Martin and Alan forgot to hit the breaks in there Dream Baby Dream like state of smacked out bliss, bless em, and the train rolls slowly on the bumping mangled train tracks as Yoko serenades the dismayed underground commuters emerging dazed from to the platform, blinking and happy.

Actually, is that Alan Vega or is Yoko Ono gradually turning into him these days? Ever seen them in the same room together?

If you’re really a witch Yoko why do you need glasses?

Cos they look so fuckin’ cool you bitch, now fuck off before I turn you into a frog and nail you to the fucking wall, here climb the ladder and bite this apple – then you’ll know I’m a witch.

Rest of the albums a bit overproduced pants Yoko, but this gem gets two thumbs up, cheers.

Ze Records, rejuvenated home of James Chance and Lizzy Mercier Descloux to name but a few, is releasing the first material from Michael Dracula in April, taking the form of debut LP, ‘In The Red’. We featured LP closer, ‘Destroy Yourself’ a while back and here is yet more.

Michael Dracula - Poppers

‘Poppers’ first came to 20JFG’s excitable ears about a year and a half ago when it was a totally different affair. It was way faster with a stomping drum pattern and this kind of urgent energy, but the album version above is a more haunting sound, with Death’s icy fingers plucking at the frozen guitar strings. ‘Poppers’ now sounds just like its name states, like some woozy mega-headache that turns you into a fun mess.

‘In The Red’ is full of spidery guitars and detuned-on-purpose organ sounds, its like the noises that burnt down houses inhabited by the ghosts of damsels in distress make at night. These ghostly damsels lament a perfect balance between 193O’s avant-horror-cabaret partying and hung over introspection. Vocalist and main lady Emily has clearly honed the sound into a stalactite-like dagger since the birth of the band in 2OO2. The many incarnations of Michael Dracula have chiselled the songs into the skeletal remains of decadent times.

labels >> asses, backstage passes