Sunday, March 4, 2007  4:01 pm 

Metal Dragons/Cardboard Lambs

We are bursting at the seams at the prospect of an album by Padded Cell. Imagine, looking back at previous 12″s, what it will be like? The Emperor Machine made by witches and warlocks who shroud themselves in blood-red satin cloaks and have glitterballs for eyes.

Today marks the release of ‘Moon Menace’ on DC Recordings. The title track is a brooding discopolic beat that interferes with the tides of the sea, but its the 70’s horrorshow saxo-manical stomp B-side that we favour, if made to choose:

Padded Cell - Faces Of The Forest

Everyday is Halloween for Padded Cell, and what better way to celebrate the most funnest holiday than conjuring demonic disco spectres and releasing them on vinyl to an unsuspecting world? They sneak into the forest in the dead of night and record the sound of hellish creatures riding metal dragons through the black air, splattering blood across saxaphones and bass guitars as they go. The metal dragons snap and contort like that industrial-sized Rubik’s Cube in Demon Seed, and slice up the creatures a treat.

Because you know it makes sense kids, buy the vinyl from either Juno or Piccadilly x

Oh, that’s nice! Old weird people Crash Course in Science who we blogged back in the gay day have decided to re-issue their classic dumb ass surrealist Cronenberg creeper Cardboard Lamb. My single from ebay is so scratched to shit, this is a wonderful thing people! Andrea Doria’s Bucci Bag just wasn’t fooling anyone, that’s just crap.

Also rather wonderful is it comes with some mixes by Vitalic and David Caretta for that head stuck down the toilet with the bass bin slapping your arse sound(banggin’), as well as the all knowing ever growing Transducer mix by the band themselves.

Crash Course in Science - Cardboard Lamb (CCIS Transducer Mix)

Crash Course in Science are a bunch of religious zealots from America who in an effort to represent the lord Jesus’s (God bless the hippy freak) teachings created a more sensible science which is easier to believe in than this creationist shit.

And on the first day the Lord created a lion and lay him down with a lamb, which he didn’t have much time to make but had a handy pair of scissors and a left over box the Lion came in. They could have a right giggle with Stephen Hawking.

Played on toy instruments and a drum machine by this 1979-81 Philadelphia art student orchestra signed to Rough Trade in the uk, this apparently became a new wave club dancefloor smash. As we were all embryos or in nappies back then 20jfg have been bashing it out and dancing like our pricks are on fire to it at every opportunity since (hence the scratched plastic).

This re-issue gives us a well earned opportunity to re-introduce its da da delights to virgin unsuspecting ears and bored old has-beens with a penchant for reminiscing across the fair lands of Brighton and Hoveactually.

labels >> creationists, demons, forests, science, the moon