2O12 AD: AUTOMATONS MADE FLESH, SPEARHEADING TOWARD EARTH FROM PLANET CYBER-FOLK

This, they have said, is ADULT.’s folk album. No really. Check out the video on the official site that casts them as film noir Liars hacking up the forest ground with high heels and blood splattered spades.

ADULT. – You Don’t Worry Enough

So yes, a return to form is also a phrase that has been uttered. Theres no ‘Hand To Phone’ (or even a ‘Pressure Suit’) on new LP “Why Bother?” (from Thrill Jockey), but the tinny drums that resemble circuit boards being snapped to a beat are present. I’m digging how ‘You Don’t Worry Enough’ features those sirens that sound as if they are reverberating around empty factories in moonlit industrial estates. Nicola Kuperus is back as the sophisticated but feral fembot that she always used to be, screeching over the urgent crackling bass and clicks, more hardwired and sarcastic as fuck than the slightly bored riot grrl of previous album ‘Gimme Trouble’.

2O86 AD: ROBO-ENHANCED GOTH-DANDY CRUISING THE SKYWAYS IN A FERRARI TESTAROSSA

A while back Juan-san got all hot under the collar for ‘Love Attack’ from “Midnight Magic”, and quite rightly so as its fucking awesome. Its soon to be released on 12″, complete with neat vocal edit:

Skatebard – Love Attack (Vocal)

Our favourite lizard Vampire cyberpunk Skatebard makes vocal shapes like The Pet Shop Boys and refuses to listen to all music produced after 1985 to make this glistening attitude riddled 8O’s smash hit that never was. In a parallel universe this track is a worldwide number 1 best-seller and its playing in all the clubs, even the shit ones.

I have decided that Skatebard is the 8O’s power-italo behemoth equivalent to Lindstrom, and speaking of Lindstrom, have you heard the all conquering new single ‘Let’s Practice’? Head to Beats In Space if not.

2525 AD: POST-APOCALYPTIC NEO-PANZER JUSTICE SQUAD FIGHT THE RENEGADE MUTANT HORDES

A.R.E. Weapons – Purple Hearts (Demo)

Of course sometime in the future the world will implode and either due to global warming or misjudged fun with nukes, will become a dry-as-a-bone rock spinning through space. But who will police these ruined wastelands, keeping the savage mutants at bay and the innocent safe and warm in destroyed New York? A.R.E. Weapons of course! Just as the hideous multi-limbed wasteland-dwelling freaks close in for the kill, along come the Weapons appearing on the horizon, one fist punching the air, the other fist wrapped around the trigger of a machine gun, shooting from the hip.

(This is taken from demo sessions for A.R.E. Weapons upcoming LP)

3OOO AD: SATAN INHERITS THE EARTH, BUILDS A DISCOTHEQUE

So what happens to the Earth in the end? Descimated by natural and unnatural disasters, plagued by disease and famine, its the perfect time for Satan to pay a visit!

Disco Devil – GA!

As the few surviving souls stare up into the darkening skies, the Disco Devil splits the very mountains and clambers out of Hell. The light dims and the world is plunged into darkness. The sun morphs into a giant spinning disco ball, and before the survivors realise the Earth is being turned into a demonic discotheque, shards of light fire off from the discoball searing flesh and bone.

…and so, humanity lives on, dancing in the italo flames of a Hell on Earth! YAY!

Epilogue -
This post is tagged with italo