Wednesday, June 6, 2007  6:40 am 

scarred for life

In the perfect world old people in the homes we are all destined for, filling our empty lives by watching others could be interconnected by cctv cameras, in a repetitive cycle of gossip. Ohh did you hear about Beryl’s piles? I feel so sorry for her, but that Tom is such a looker…

When this concept meets the cocaine fulled madness of tv execs joking on how hard they can push the envelope, you realise people will suck on anything from that luminous screen its so easy to be mind numbed by. You can imagine the conversation; would people watch other people, doing, erm, nothing?

Voyeurism, the new drug of choice, everyone’s fame for 15 seconds, the revolution has been televised, a psychosomatic torturer camp when even the most sane of people are lunatics in the asylum. Emerging with the knowledge you have bared your soul, the possibility of getting that attention you crave on a huge scale, the actuality that anyone can now shout your name, and expect a response.

No analysis on the psyche that craves such fame here today, for they must be as mad as any celeb.

Hello world! This is Davina speaking! Can you hear the excitement? Today we begin the contest of contests, the ultimate contest! Today we have some new contestants going into the Big Brother house! Can you feel the excitement!!!!
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oh my gosh! Would you believe it!
How exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First into the house we have James Newell Osterberg, Jr. or ‘Iggy‘ as he’s known to his friends.

His favorite colour is Sliver and favorite saying is ‘Well Come On!’

Iggy hails from the Michigan! and was raised in a trailer park!

Iggy likes nothing better then painting himself silver and dressing in a tu tu.

Iggy’s main habits used to be pharmaceuticals, due to the fact that everyone who ripped him off made it big, while he never got any payback!!!!

After the clean out 80s Billy Idol period of ‘Real Wild Child’ and his re-appropriation as a Che icon due to ‘Train Spotting’ has recently been able to buy his first house!!

When relaxing Iggy enjoys nothing more than smearing peanut butter and jelly all over his lovely chest.

If he could meet anyone famous it would be himself when he was young, and he would tell him to not worry so much, stick to his guns, and it will all tern out good.

Iggy does not have a particular favorite cheese, and puts his stick insect physique down to an occasional good stretch.

Iggy’s audition tape caught our ear by the fact he seems to have come from a zoo, and while most of his Zombie Birdhouse album is a load of try hard sub bowie tripe, this particular jungle jezebel rhythm barks at the moon like a tribal Ozzy.

We are still confused which zoo Iggy escaped from for these sessions of afrobeat Yoko, but thank god the crazy fucker did.

Like Edith, Iggy has no regrets, but not many memories either.

Let’s have a big round of applause for Iggy!!!!!!!!

Iggy Pop - Street Crazies

Is that snake’s on a plane? Noooo…….it’s
Midnite Snake’s in the house!

Midnite Snake - Cruise Control

Cruise control steps into the room with that addictive force of kraut metal warrior from Osaka.

First impressions are based on road drill feedback, terrible production, and the impression this was mainly recorded in the middle of a downtown traffic jam being sucked into a black whole.

Spacial distortion ensnares all those ‘end of the world is nigh’ druids in the vicinity, whose chanting mass is sucked down through a churning wah wah.

The trio from Pittsburgh, armed with, as the press release says, ‘America’s greatest drummer Modey Lemon Paul Quattrone’ ?? are sure to appeal to spaced out grannies and bearded hardcore freaks alike.

Hubble bubble,
Midnite Snake, the power is strong with you and your new album, Shaving the Angel, on Birdman records

Discemi base their research in a hugely expensive trans-europe underground tunnel.

They strive to recreate the Data Sapiens, a form of life powered purely on information, and perfect contestent in the house!

Discemi - Data Sapiens

This is a recording from the compression walls of tiny particles colliding at electro speed under thick gravity, densely submerged in their platinum coated race track.

It’s only a matter of time before the pulsating mass builds a consistent enough energy to form a new type of slightly unstable matter, child like it grows reaching to an equinox of melody, forming a behavioral pattern based on its surrounding environment entirely.

Like a lovely wet bubbly datasort, their dark melody matter glitters, licking at the comets tails of its fellow data sapiens.

These creatures will not be here long though, that nano second of their tiny existence blew the whole budget, and this slowed down recording is all thats left of their fleeting lives…

Discemi’s Data Sapien is release now on Rekids.

far better to inflict on the masses than the screaming banshees we have this year…

scarred for life.

labels >> Peanut butter jelly time