Ok so we are still failing, finding it hard to fill your weeks with the crazy sounds we like to deliver, down the drain goes our rep for reliability, constant updates and whatnot… it’s not that we don’t have tunes from wizards and witches, or that we don’t love you with all the might of our convoluted hearts, and thus wish to continue contributing to create that happy connection between both constituencies, it is just a general lack of time to write the sort of degraded rants we are used to vomit as an accompaniament to the music, that’s what ails us…But do not worry, we’re making adjustments to our schedule, and will soon come up with a combination to keep everyone happy, ears busy and taste for proper punctuation and grammar with rosy cheeks from a good spanking, keep checking us out, we ain’t going nowhere, except back in time.

…I had breakfast, put totemic toys in my backpack (Mon Calamari Commander Ackbar and Snake Eyes), as well as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comic book to read during the morning break while the big boys played football or had battles with the posh motherfuckers from the catholic public school up the hill, or scowled at the gals doing skip, and the cool kids attempted sketchy ollies in their dayglo powel peralta plastic skateboards. So there, I started walking under the morning sun staring at the unforgiving sky, no F14 Tomcats piloted by Tom Cruise breaking the speed of sound to bomb the shit out of the Warsaw Pact peoples following orders from that loony Ronald Reagan, another day in life sonny.

I was really tired, it had taken me ages to fall asleep because I was dead scared imagining a gang of satanic cultists outside my house conniving to kidnap me for a ghastly sacrifice in the middle of the park under the indifferent stare of a snowy flock of white swans… If only I had Sly to protect me with his fancy tec-9 submachinegun like this was Cobra, or my momma had consented to enrol me in ninjitsu to learn lethal fighting techniques Michael Dudikoff style, instead of wimpy karate as taught by psychotic teenager senseis…

Harold Faltermeyer- Running Man Theme

I used to have this toy of Arnold Schwarzenegger which looked like an Almond croissant G.I.Joe. I watched Commando yesterday and realised that Arnold looked a lot like this toy, and not the other way around.

Weird.

Harold Faltermeyer, who you might remember from the legendary b-bopping tune Axel F from Beverly Hills Cop, also did, amongst others, the soundtrack for Running Man, which is one of Arnie’s finest ‘efforts’, and based on a novel Stephen King wrote under the pseudonym ‘Robert Bloch’ in case you didn’t know. This film constitutes not only a subtle commentary on extreme sports and reality TV, but you also get to see our fave Austrian thespian wearing an orange cat-suit which fits him like the skin of a sausage while he drops hot one-liners, what about when he disembowells a gladiator with a chainsaw and then goes back to his pals, who ask him what happened with the other guy. Arnie replies sternly

-’He had to split’

HAR HAR

The theme tune is very John Carpenter in a ‘The fog arrives from the sea bringing fists into your face’ way, which makes us happy, o hai!

Alas…

…I wasn’t looking forward to today’s lessons, I was tired and weary and none too happy with my homework for algebra, the day was going to be one of these slow-burning Ballardian hells to be spent shuffling a deck of garbage pail kids, wait for the bell to ring, try not to get bullied on the way home, eat a nutella sandwich, watch Alf scribbling braille codes in food for his blind lady and sit in front of the sketchy Spectrum, pray in front of the cassette deck, scribble the ritual worlds of the newbie command line mass and, if the whole thing didn’t decide to fuck up after half an hour of loading, escape into a magic world of old skool electronic mayhem where I would get to operate a mutant conglomerate of pixels while a shower of heavenly blips and blops put together by some crazy synth magus rained over me from the tinny speakers like a spell cast away in a very far dimension of techno-utopian bliss.

Those were the days!

Halo 3? Kids have it too easy these days!

I was reading a history of the C64 in Gamasutra yesterday and started thinking of Rob Hubbard inventing a few sub-genres of electronic music through a process of maximisation of available computing resources in the target chip, here you have the soundtrack for Sanxion in all its original glitched up trebly glory as recorded from the loading screen (more stuff here)…

Rob Hubbard- Sanxion (loading screen)

And in a ‘enhanced’ (in my opinion inferior version) included in the C64 Back in Time comp.

Rob Hubbard- Sanxion

Pull some joystick spazzing riffarama bedroom power moves, don the best hi-tops ever made after Marty McFly’s, and take a massive jump over the rainbow which lands us into the weekend with a slight feeling of nostalgia, we’ll be back with more new shit on Monday kids, enough to make my lil’ poney puke, keep real til then.

NEXT WEEKEND

LIARS play live on Brighton on Saturday. They are the best live band in the planet maybe with the Boredoms. We saw them at Field day and the new tunes sound fucking awesome.

Barfly Brighton (aka old school Gloucester)
Saturday 3rd November
Get tix at Resident, Rounder etc.

Standard.

You can download a free Liars Studio Session EP by clicking here & going through a short registering shizzle ting.

It’s Alf’s birthday too.

HTRK and Rolo Tomassi support WHAAA.

And DJs from the Do (i.e. this includes us) DJ at the after-party.

It’s such a winner you should shoot yourself in the face if you miss it.

/Off now.

Epilogue -
This post is tagged with john carpenter