Image provided by Tommy Boy

R&B instrumentals can be wonderful things, sometimes forcing all the haters out there who can’t see beyond the often diamond encrusted lovelorn musings that adorn so many of these tracks, to admit defeat and accept that on occasion the sounds of Kiss FM can be some of the most adventurous and insanely odd sounds around. We’ve seen robo-siren Cassie slink her way across an ominous soundscape of icy Chromatics disco remixed by Timbaland, Brandy cry chrome tears over a metal-machine android jam that would be perfect for sound tracking a romantic moment between the 2008 Treer Saltair cars from Southland Tales, and Destiny’s Child leading a future-funk clockwork marching band while maximalist synth sirens shoot off into the sky like digital fireworks that explode in to an ocean of sine waves. And, so now we celebrate another piece of off kilter pop lunacy in the form of this unreleased gem.

Usher – Dat Girl Right There (Instrumental)

When Amerie collaborator Rich Harrison was concocting this sonic juggernaut for Usher I can only imagine he did so under the influence of Proteus, abused by wires with lives of their own, super computers plugged into his brain reformatting his trademark cymbal abusing go-go sound into something a psychotic robot orchestra might come up with, transforming the organic into the synthetic.

In it’s original incarnation Usher, seemingly consumed with the kind of manic eyed lust that courses through the veins like poison and makes sane men involuntarily claw at their own chests until they draw blood, delivered a suitably hyped up performance bouncing off the walls of a pressure chamber, trapped in a giant, third dimension variant of Pong desperately trying to avoid a barrage of elastic orbs ricocheting back and forth, whilst Ludacris slid up to play the role of his sidekick sexbot and slowly malfunctioned in the corner, his voice-box disintegrating into the ether as it fought to be heard over the colossus. Stripped of the voices, the barely controlled chaos theory that seems to inform much of this space age banger reinforces that the avant-garde can be gold plated too.

Being that this is a Bobby Orlando production, naturally this is hi-NRG, but this is hi-NRG that’s been stripped of it’s happy, jubilant “hi” and has instead been inserted with an unhealthy dose of black hearted dancefloor psychosis. Of course we’re quite partial to hearing disco queens being dragged down that dark alley behind Studio 54 by cloaked and veiled faceless men only to emerge with ruby red lipstick smudged across their face and strange occult symbols brandished into their hands, so this can only really be a thing of beauty.

Bobby O cranks up the tension between a pair of warring lovers whose once existing affection for one another has completely turned to bones, and unwittingly creates the glitzy, sequin soaked, technotronic murder ballad that Rufus and Chaka probably should have made at some point, which feels like the oral equivalent of biting down on a juicy piece of candy only to discover a few moments later that a stream of blood has begun to flow from your mouth, at which point you spit out the razor-blade.

One-Two-Three – Another Knife In My Back (12″ Mix)

As this nasty, little hate-fuck takes place beneath darkening rainbow strobes, black glitter bombs explode, while a snowstorm of broken mirror ball shards, like razor-sharp snowflakes descends in perpetual slow motion around the desperate couple engaged in their toxic tango, making tiny incisions as they brush past naked skin, creating the kind of twisted Giallo disco that Argento would be proud of.

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Friend and occasional collaborator Sam of ultimate mixtape blog Allez-Allez has been kind enough to bestow upon us a sweet mix made by himself, check it out:

Sam Allez Allez – 2OJFG Mix 2008

Sons & Daughters – This Gift (Sam’s Allez-Allez Remix)
Harmonia – Dino
D.A.F. – Der Mussolini (Conny Plank Mix)
Yo La Tengo – Sugercube
Glenn Branca – Light Field (In Consonance)
Animal Collective – Chores
High Places – Head Spins
Guided By Voices – My Valuable Hunting Knife
Spoonich – Laserdance
Luke Vibert & Jean Jacques Perrey – Moog Acid (Jackson Mix)
DHS – House of God ($50 Mix)
Menomena – Wet and Rusting
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Tonight: If in Brighton.

Early on- Lilo Feast at the Penthouse, Chadtoddbruce is handling the biz and one of the 20JFg 1s shall be bringing a few records to contribute.

After: It Came from the Sea, Brighton’s main alt.disco comes back full strength at the Water Margin: you know the score= you don’t know the score. Damaged dance music and mutant pop we shall dance to under the fierce radioactive blast of Nikon & Kickie fearless attitude & mighty killer strobe.

Epilogue -
This post is tagged with conny plank