Heavy Like Necrophilia

In all seriousness what would you have expected of an X-rated disco dolly update of
Frank & Moon Zappa’s “Valley Girl?” Something ridiculous, hilarious, warped and scary all at once, right? Right! Castro Boy may very well be the fruitiest record ever put to vinyl, but this isn’t the kind of thing that’s going to sate the appetite of the drunk, sweaty party boys looking to indulge in a little bit of camp exhibitionism as a way of reinstating their manhood to the perma-tanned ladies, the type of guys who’ve become more accustomed to pretending to be in uniform whilst spelling out letters with their hands blissfully ignorant of the fact that kind of thing has been pretty lame for the best part of, well, forever. In fact this is the kind of thing that would probably send them screaming off the dancefloor, trousers around their ankles and boot prints in their backs, because even though this is admittedly “nelly” as fuck, there’s definitely something quite sinister about the way this high octane hi-NRG tribute to the more sex, more drugs, more everything lifestyle that epitomised gay San Francisco in the 70s manages to sound like a psychotic mind storm of discordant, descendant synth lines and chugging metronomic beats whilst “that” voice begins to sound like a hundred manic voices spiralling around in your infiltrated cranium. Taking into account everything that we know about what happened to the Castro area not long after this was made there’s something oddly poignant about a line like “He’s a castro boy and there is no cure.” Fiddling while Rome burns indeed.

Danny Boy and The Serious Gods – Castro Boy (Somewhat Normal)

(Image courtesy of Tommy Boy)

In the coming weeks the ever impressive forces behind Tirk Records will be releasing a very nice compilation of super duper nu-wave disco treats, that give the Paradise Garage corpses a buff and a shine and transform them into sleekly mechanized entities waiting in the pixelated mists ready, willing and able to destroy mirrorball palaces everywhere. One definite highlight is Morten Sorenson’s contribution which takes a Chic sample and layers it over the top of a Kevin Saunderson stutter synth riff to create the kind of rave up that once upon a time used to have people weeping in warehouses all over Chicago.

Morten Sorenson – Start Something

And finally one of our all time favourites, Diamond Vampires, have seen fit to transmit to us across frozen, battered wastelands another of their digitized distress calls that make us pine for a time when John Carpenter films promised us a ghastly, glorious future of monochromatic grey skylines illuminated by distant starbursts.Their deathly codeine saturated italo which has been stripped of all joy and that leaves us with nothing but a deliciously mechanical impulse to twitch and judder transports us to a time when we believed in our naivety that one day we would awaken to find ourselves stripped of the mundane lives we’d come to know and find ourselves in the company of impossibly pale, black eyed beauties who lounge and prowl in a gargantuan Romanesque chrome cathedral that sits ominously atop a mountain cloaked by a crystalline blue mist that fails to shield our ears from the sounds of chaos that emanate from the neon expanses below, the cacophonous racket created by the slow, painful descent of a civilisation that we nonchalantly dismiss with an icy, gleeful detachment.

Diamond Vampires – Studiostorm

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XXJFG have got a few fun things coming up that we think you should know about. First off we’ll be hosting So Bones, a dance party of sorts that will see us try to pretend we were ever those kids at the back of the bus who blasted Mary J. Blige records out of tinny mobile phone sound systems. Basically we’ll be playing….

FUTURE FUNK, SOUTHERN SYNTH CRUSHERS, SCREWED & CHOPPED, FLORIDA VIBE, CHICAGO JUKE, BOUNCE, ROBO-SOUL, METAL MACHINE JAMS….

So thats Cash Money and the Cassie stuff no one will release. There will be a DJ set courtesy of Edwin from Foals and more TBC…there might even be cough syrup shots on the door if we can work out whether that’s legal or not. Probably not.

Also a few days later we’ll be DJing at this loft party being thrown by the awesome Throwback guys….

Erm…needless to say this will be immense! Buy your tickets now because very soon you probably wont be able to and that would be terrible.