When we first heard Lucifer Rising by Darktown Strutters, aside from the fact that we all flipped our collective shit, one of us managed to compose ourselves long enough to remark how much it sounded like Kiss Me Again by Dinosaur if Arthur Russell and Nicky Siano’s dream-team collaborative effort had been remade by the unholiest of Satanists, which is frankly about as accurate an image as one might possibly come up with for such a potent piece of black-eyed soulless soul as this.

Like being lured down a secret passage way hidden inside in an abandoned, dilapidated church standing lonesome in the vast deathly dry, Texan desert by the hypnotic, ominous sounds of a sacrificial gong and some doom-disco bongos being banged in preparation for the impending ceremony, as if a rotting, zombified Boney M equipped with synthesizers set to dread was the Devil’s very own jam band, only to find yourself inexplicably compelled to pull back that thick black curtain dividing you and Hell on earth to discover that the person lying naked on the engraved, blood stained, stone slab positioned beneath a large pendulous silver spear, and surrounded by supernaturally beautiful, pregnant women, each one adorned in a purple cloak and holding in their hands a crystal clear urn containing fire ants, death stalkers, rattlers and wandering spiders, is in fact you and there’s a great, big smile plastered on that charred and scarred face of yours.

Darktown Strutters – Lucifer Rising

Ultron have taken it upon themselves to create the soundtrack to an event, which whenever it happens in the near future is sure to be a truly glorious one, when all the sadly forgotten and criminally unloved demi-divas of the hi-nrg age will be restored to their former glories, all the scars left by a world that never really understood, washed away for an eternity. On this day all the glamed up, Gucci hookers, and the eternally coked up go-go boys that ever accidently stumbled into recording booths in search of the next hit of whatever, alongside the soul divas forever trapped on glowing tetris dancefloors, and European princesses pining for their lost lovers atop pixelated castles of accelerated Moroderesque noise will be gathered up to board a giant chrome Cubix spacecraft that will speed them off into the stars and away from this wretched planet until they reach the Elysian fields where the Gods, Cowley and Sylvester, will welcome them home with wide open arms, and finally they’ll be where they belong.

Ultron – Master Mind