Excerpt from the diary of JDD.JFG, Dec. 13.
After nights toiling in the penumbra of our cellar, surrounded by the inhumane shrieking of abominations we have summoned through years of prancing in the outskirts of normality, we think we have reached a solution to the eternal challenge that all Apprentices of the Aggregative Arcana (AAA) face as the year faces its death:
Producing a compilation that acts as summary of the year, and an accurate representation of the taste of the aggregator.
“Poppycock!’ yell in chorus the ghosts of a thousand pragmatists starved or eviscerated by our pet abominations, surging in and out of the musky penumbra of this disgusting cellar. ‘That compilation should be a list, and a list is the simplest type of content to produce, which is why it plagues the Internets like a horde of bullet-pointed locusts. Make a list, and be done with this dithering!’
To which we snarl bitterly:
‘And this is why you starved in our cellar, and had your limbs torn from your torsos, and your insipid marrow sucked off our beige bones, you puny pragmatists, and why we won’t let you out until you have shed some of your sanity, and you are fit to be unleashed into the world in dire need of imagination. You come from a paradigm that isn’t ours.
A list would be the easy thing to do, that…list, but it would misrepresent the process by which we remember, burrowing through the rubble of near-history, hunting for glimmers of sound and the associated emotions, nah, we WILL NOT shoehorn magic into a linear sequence, even worse, a COUNTDOWN that ranks the unrankable, or even worse, a tool for Christmas shoppers to prioritise their pathetic rambles through the dire moors of the marketplace!”
No, we harrumph; We know we have found a better way, one consistent with our chaotic alignment. After much dark-soul-searching, we have found the solution at home, in the birthplace of our library, in one of the many Bibles that injected the psycho-virus of weird in our system, and wacked our cognitive frames forever out of sync with ‘real reality’.
We are talking about THE ADVENTURE GAME BOOK, that with its indeterminacy and choice, with its co-creation of a shared story with you, dear reader, with its risk of insanity and permanent death for your heroic alter-ego (a shard of yourself), embodies the founding principles of this grizzled blog, and the only framework we think will work when recasting our 2013.
‘Madness!’, ululates the ghostly chorus of pragmatists, ‘a waste of time and energy in unproductive ventures this is, ye foolish Fitzcarraldos, you make life hard for yourself and for your fellow followers, they don’t want choice or non-linearity, they only want to skim down the list of your selection, save your strength for worthier battles, and abandon this scheme once and for all, you won’t regret it!’
Our retort: ‘Ah, but who thought we were user-friendly (excepting the wonderful palette of our background, and the grace of our fonts) or responsive (not that we receive comments to which respond, alas), that’s not our mission, but the opposite, which is why the complicated pro-choice model we have imagined sucks us in with the force of a demonically dense hole!’
And with these word and a flourish, we summon a tear in the damp wall of this stinking cellar, through the tear shines a blinding light. It is time.
Off we go, in an uncertain trip through the lands of what was. It is here where we become an avatar or puppet for yourself dear reader, prepared to obey your whims as you quest for the treasures of 2013…or Death & Doom.
Image = detail of the cover from a Panther Book edition of Howard Philips Lovecraft’s “The Lurking Fear’, which we found here