Category Archives: Blizzardo

A Legion (I)

Featuring : Blizzardo + Liquidrome


One of our New Year resolutions for 2013 is to visit alien sites in Earth more promptly, as soon as we hear about them.

This will help us ensure that whatever alien technologies may be stocked in these sites are kept away from the hands of evil pop music moguls behind abominations such as those that have bombarded & almost shattered our timid spirits while we carried out the quaint rituals of the Christmas shopping trip.

We fear that through their dabbling with things that they don’t respect, even less so understand (i.e. those powerful technologies that we mention above), these moguls may generate an infectious music meme with the potential to corrupt whole sections of the galaxy.

We are confident about the response from the powers that be and listen. Recall the Eschaton’s admonition to mankind in Charles Stross’ Singularity Sky (and replace the term ‘causality’ with music, or beauty, with which it is connected).

I am the Eschaton. I am not your God.

I am descended from you, and exist in your future.

Thou shalt not violate causality within my historic light cone. Or else.


We speculate that the ‘else’ that concludes the statement above would involve the cordoning and obliteration of a cube with a face diagonal of 10 parsecs centred around Earth.

This would result in the extermination of the human species (including many innocents who have not yet succumbed to or are actively fighting the morbid shriek of the pop moguls who are of course the ultimate cause & destination of this Eschatonic ‘else’), as well as a number of extra-terrestrial civilisations who share Earth with us, or are our neighbours.

No fair.

Yet understandable. Music is a platform for trans-cultural and trans-species communication, as well as contagion. This is why Laurie Spiegel provided the musical opening for the golden disc Carl Sagan commissioned to be sent out with the Voyager Spacecraft. We want those listeners lurking in the sidereal void to want to be our friends.

We don’t want them to fear a human-created virus setting the Universe aflame in a holocaust of ugliness, the cosmic drone transformed into the stomach-churning wo-wo-wo-wo-wobble of a bro-step banger.

If it came to it, we would be the victims of their violence, respect its reasons, and probably admire its implementation. We suspect it would sound a little bit like this:

Liquidrome – Apokrypha

That is, like the building momentum of a pan-galactic freighter transporting a load of genetic napalm into your face, or Factory Floor’s mutant brother, locked in the basement for all eternity. Or the simple and cruel directives regulating the behaviour of the arachnid hunter seeker squadrons that would scour the wreckage of Earth looking for survivors after our extremely prejudiced erasure.

Liquidrome is Mikale de Graff from Lazer Crystal. This is all the information we have, sorry.



We all agree that keeping powerful alien technologies away from modern pop moguls who may misuse and subvert them thus condemning humanity & its innocent neighbours to final obliteration is a good plan.

But how?

We could launch our own pogrom against hidden alien sites around Earth – that is, follow the scorched mystery path of the Hollywood/ Triple A console game. Yet that would play into the hands of the pop mogul overlords who’d like to avoid competition from the people from the Outer Spheres and their human allies (among which we count ourselves).

Doing this would make life in Earth insufferable by voiding it from the strangeness from Beyond. It would make the Eschaton that we previously described almost desirable.

For how could we give up on things like…

Blizzardo’s River Rouge, the latest hit in one of those alien sites we mentioned (a discotheque hidden somewhere in Brooklyn that receives most of its wax through the trans-Cygnus FTL pipeline)?

…A track that is so obviously and beautifully alien it makes us long for utopic Sagittarian planets of never-ending dance we are not even sure exist.

Yet they must, if not in this universe, then in a parallel one shaped by the waves of River Rouge as it streams through our subconscious. You can almost see it: the bubbling of a pan-oceanic jacuzzi from which the dancers emerge reborn with a nimble bounce in their synthetic step, running into a luxuriant jungle haunted by tigers of acid roar, after the call of Gaussian bells tolling, & holographic sirens singing, to converge into a clearing of blinding light…

…the rest is levitation.

You sure can hear it. How could we give up on this?

We won’t.

Blizzardo – River Rouge

River Rouge includes a vocal sample of Felicia Douglass singing on a clip from an unreleased dinowalrus track. Go and get the Challenger EP at iTunes.

(In coming posts, we will develop and test different strategies to balance the need for collaboration & cross-pollination with our extraordinary alien guests, and prophylaxis against those who would use their wonderful music like pimps use love. Watch out).

The Lurker in the Booth pt 1.

Featuring : Blizzardo + The Passenger

(Amei Ozaki painting via 50Watts)

(Unedited copy from an article in the Gazzette, 9th of XXXXXX, 20XX)

No one has been able to explain the events at the Cube Club on the First of XXXXXX of 20XX, between 3am – when the security guards shut the doors and told the crowd queuing outside to leave – and 9am – when the cleaners arrived for their shift to find a large pool of blood overflowing from under the locked doors. The coroner at St. Mary’s Hospital has yet to release his report, and the police are still examining the CCTV footage. According to our sources, at least 40 identification documents (id and credit cards) have been found amongst the carnage. In most cases, it has been impossible to physically identify the victims, given the state of their remains.

We have interviewed some people who left the club before 3am. Their memories are a bit blurred, which isn’t surprising, given the decadent reputation of the Cube. This is an excerpt from an interview with one of them, aged 21:

“I was so annoyed I had to go home early that night. I guess I was lucky after all. Anyway, I was taking it easy, just a few drinks and a dance. Not that I ever do anything else, mind. But the DJ was on fire. It was this new guy, a replacement for DJ Marco, this awesome guy who rocks the best Summer Parties in Ibiza. Anyway, we were really disappointed when we found out that Marco had lost his flight and Dean [the owner of Cube Club] had got this other guy instead. We were going to go home when he started playing all the hits, so we decided to stay for a bit. It was music that we had never heard, really powerful and cold like some space ship headed to conquer distant galaxies, in a sexy totalitarian way. I had one of the best dances of the year, it was better than being on drugs! Not that I ever take drugs, will you publish that?

So, I went to the DJ booth to give the new guy the thumbs up. He looked well weird, really pale guy with small cold eyes, shaved head. He was wearing a really lame leather trenchcoat. I said thanks man, tried to do a high five but he totally blanked me, smirked between his black lips, I saw the tips of his teeth, spiky, he may have said something, but I only heard a hiss. Nothing nice, anyway. Cheer up goth, whatever! He really creeped me out. We went home really soon after that”

Blizzardo – Cheer

The Passenger – In Flight Acid

{In his short story ‘The Gernsback Continuum’, William Gibson describes the semiotic ghosts of an imagined future populating the alternative now – in his case, the slipstream architecture of 1930s pulp futurism as depicted in Hugo Gernsback’s publications. In the two tunes above, The Passenger and Blizzardo convey snapshots from the Armando/Original UK Cyborg druid raver continuum, an assembly line at the heart of a factory which is a cathedral which is a gauntlet which isn’t a gauntlet, its metal collar priests/workers strike with relics/tools powered by an endorphin releasing generator. And thus we are assembled, and slide dancing towards a day of automated joy.}

The Modern Dance

Featuring : Blizzardo + PDP

(Eduardo Paolozzi via Sci-fi-o-rama)

It can be tempting to think of (or make) dance music as an exercise in design or engineering – a set of elements is configured to achieve the producer’s purpose, subject to certain constrains (tempo, length, genre). Isn’t this after all functional music supposed to achieve quantifiable goals (calorie burn)?

This is of course the wrong way – the outcomes of such exercise are dry and lifeless. Lots of dance music do in fact feel this way, because they are made that way. Frankenstein Monsters stitched up from a handful of corpses, subtly modified clones marching out of the digital vat, too mindless to even ask to be put out of their misery, zombie hordes clogging the airspace.

This stuff will be forgotten. This isn’t the good stuff. The good stuff doesn’t feel like it was made. The good stuff feels like it grew, not from a studio but a tribe, its consistency stemming not from structural equations and feedback loops, but the need to satisfy basic needs within a specific niche. It has its own personality. It wants things. The two beasties we are bringing you today want you to dance. So get on with it.

PDP’s (aka Paul Layzell) megamix cassette album – out in a very limited cassette run through the lovely Where to Now label, go get – feels like a good-times drift through the psycho-geography of late 1980s and 1990s awesome black music. It bristles with dance activators, fierce body rock music and laid back cosmodelics, a tip of the hat to daisy age jeepbeats and the pumping mother we are leaving with you today – Chicago catwalk music with a freestyle flourish, stone cold killer.

PDP – People of all Nations

Blizzardo  also gazes at the chunky architecture of the windy city, through the progressive lens of the legendary Hacienda Heroes. Like them, it delivers an exquisitely cheesy trip, our crystal star-cruiser flies into the heart of the psychedelic galaxy, which happens to be a CGI fractal drone cycling hypnotically in the wall of a hedonistic sweatbox. Like them, it breaks out of the city, over rough volksbahn and beyond the event horizon of a free party which is the landing spot for a thousand constellations. Pretty good for a dance tune, huh?

Blizzardo – Mr. Price

Blizzardo is a project of Pete Dinowalrus that we are proud to debut here. Go to the Soundcloud for more greatness, we’ll keep you posted about releases and live gubbins.

If you subscribe to the philosophy above, would like to dance to its practical application with like-minded people, and  are lucky to live within or close to the bohemian jewel of the southern coast, Brighton, you should come down to the launch of our very own Paradis night Saturday the weekend after next (that is, the 3rd) at the Tube. Dance music, nothing more, nothing less.