We were recently most thrilled and inspired by the techologies, touched upon in Finn Peters Music of the Mind project. Now what you have here is the means to turn brainwaves into musical pitches. This means that, in only a few years time a man will be able to literally ‘think’ a composition into being – without the need for musical instruments, technical skill, recording equipment, friends or talent.
Like Finn, our minds boggled at the possibilities of this new technology. And being the rampant soothsayers that we are (we magically predicted Witch-House, after all) – we not could resist but to make wildly unresearched projections about the developmental trajectories, that this radical new form of cranial composition will take over the next 100 years. If you are currently in the year 3010 and you have stumbled across this article, then yes, we were probably wrong. Laugh it up future-boy, at least we can still leave the house without needing breathing aparatus.
A good start. Via a call-centre style* telepathic headset mic, brainwaves are detected and turned into a musical pitch – meaning that the user can take very basic control over a software instrument, making it play the note they are currently thinking of. The level of control is currently that of a Theremin or early voltage controlled synthesiser, but in just a short time complete and accurate control over an 8 octave range will be possible.
*not suitable for use in a call centre due to telepathic ability enhancement.
We predict a merge-together in the fields of telekinetic research and synaptic composition. This will enable the headset user to do away with the computer all together, and think out their compositions in real-time, via real-instruments which will apparently be ‘playing themselves’. The average person will be easily able to master control of 1 instrument as if they had played it manually, whilst a trained composer will be able to perform with – and conduct – an entire orchestra with just a single thought. This will eradicate the need for sheet music, live performances concert halls and of course, muscians, freeing them up to do more useful jobs like casino croupiers or stockbrokers. Those still wishing to still make use of the computer will be able to download their thoughts in the form of MIDI files via a USB-C(ranial) uplink.
By the end of 2060, we project that there will be no need for musical instruments at all. Instead of turning brainwaves into telekinetic energies that playback your synaptic songsmithery on real-life instruments, the user will be able to imagine and project the instruments AND performers – their costumes, styling and performance etc. The brainwave headset device will replace the ipod, as the user will be able to see the music inside their head as a fully rendered, 3 dimensional pop-video available anywhere, anytime. Aside from musical instruments, the ipod and the pop video, these incredible developments will also eradicate the need for live music television, stylists, live performances, venues and of course, muscians.
Just as we were dusting off the ’20JFG pop hit of the year’ trophy, along comes our most beloved George Quartz with his new conspirator San Serac, and whips said rune from our undextrous talons with the all the stealth of serpentine shadow men robbing a semi-existant bank in Limbosville NW. This cunning creation of ‘Supercipher’ is a white suited dandy, rising up through the dry ice on his perspex pillar to show us the theatrical delights contained within his ball of finest crystal. Put one eye to the ball and you will see a Xeroxed pair of Bryan Ferries directly projecting a holographic vision of Midnight Star into the subconscious of a young Hall and Oates looking for inspiration. By jove did they find it.
No news on release for Supercipher, but it is being featured in this video advertisment for George Quartz t-shirts which are looking rather stunning we might add.
We predict that, by 3010 things may have got a little bit out of control. Originally designed as a luxury item and costing £4999.99, the call-centre style telepathic headset mic has dramatically dropped in price over the last 40 years to £50. It has made virtually every profession redundant, except for the manufacture of telepathic headsets. The buggy, bottom of the range ‘shuffle’ version of the headset is worn by virtually everyone all the time, creating city streets full of half-rendered performances of half remembered songs. The noise is unbearable, and you can barely get a seat on the bus for all the boy band members created by teenage girls on the back seat. You can barely get inside your house for all the washed up rock n roll projections doing smack on the porch (not mention the real dudes that hang out with them). If the noise was at an acceptable level to human hearing, you would realise that it consists of only one song, tracked a billions times. It sounds a bit like this.
It’s funny how a song about what a bitch life is can make us so happy. But then you always knew we were a bunch of sadists. The sluggish pound behind ‘Life is a Struggle’ is the work of legendary Miami Bass producer Amos Larkins III, yet is so obscure it didn’t even make it onto his discogs list. Possibly this is due to the typo on the label (although we did a search for Migthy Rock and nothing came up). More likely it’s down to the record’s weirdo hypno-drag pessimism underpinned by even weirder casiotone machine gun optimism. A most definite lost classic going out to anyone feeling this way right now (which is most probably everyone in the UK right now).