We recently received a phone call from Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales, asking us to stop putting articles about Sci-Fi author Preston G. Parallax up on Wikipedia. When asked why, he said it was because the supposedly fake (his words) scribe didn’t meet their ‘notability guidelines’ (whatever they are). Considering that to us, Preston is one of the most notable figures in the development of speculative fiction and pseudomusicology, we found this statement very odd (citation needed).
We know Jimmy’s been down on his luck lately, so rather than give him a hard time we went down to Wikipedia Inc’s HQ with Preston, to prove that he is in fact flesh and blood. The receptionist there was everso helpful, and guided us to a waiting room simply marked AUDITS. There we took a ticket, and sat next to a man named Jesus. He was just about to reveal the secret of staying on Wikipedia when your existence hasn’t been proved by any legitimate source, when we were called in to see THE AUDITOR OF ALL KNOWLEDGE and his special team of advisors.
THE AUDITOR OF ALL KNOWLEDGE was a white-bearded man of about 70 (although he could have been about 970, such was the incredible wisdom emanating from his face). He stood in a white room with a white clipboard. The room would have had a kind of pearly gates atmosphere, were it not for the huge concrete bunker placed sinisterly behind the Auditor’s white desk. All Preston could make out in the bunker window were several sets of radiant red eyes. The Auditor spoke…..
“SO PRESTON, YOU’D LIKE TO JOIN WIKIPEDIA – WHAT HAVE YOU DONE THAT’S OF ANY NOTE?” (The Auditor didn’t shout, but what he says is so authoritative that it has to be written in block capitals)
“Well, in the early 80s I wrote a couple of Science Fiction novels..”
“THAT’S GREAT PRESTON, BUT WHAT HAVE YOU DONE THAT’S OF ANY NOTE?”
“Well, they were quite well recieved…”
“HOW MANY COPIES DID YOU SELL?”
“Um, the first one sold 36 copies….”
“THAT’S NICE PRESTON, BUT WHAT HAVE YOU DONE THAT’S OF ANY NOTE? WE ONLY TAKE NOTABLE PEOPLE HERE”
“Well once someone quoted me in their school thesis once….”
“HMMM, NOW YOU’RE ONTO SOMETHING”, he turned to the bunker “ANY OF YOU LOT HEARD OF HIM?”. There was a negative murmur from his team of advisors.
“I’M SORRY PRESTON, BUT IN ORDER TO BECOME PART OF THE SUM OF ALL HUMAN KNOWLEDGE THEN, YOU MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING NOTABLE….” he paused and took a second look at him
“HANG ON A SECOND, YOU’RE NOT A FICTIONAL CHARACTER ARE YOU?….”
We will get poor Preston past THE AUDITOR OF ALL KNOWLEDGE, and into his rightful place on Wikipedia soon – watch this space……
Seems like to get on Wikipedia these days you gotta shift some serious units, so let’s help some people do that! Last week we introduced you to the Call Super supergroup of which J R Seaton is a member.
Not content with that supergroup, on his new EP ‘The Grey Flower’ he has assembled another one. This time with Brassica and Binary Chaffinch, and as you can imagine the results are very pretty, and highly dexterous (to say the least). ‘In Your Mask’ is a solo effort, and we guess this might be the track from the EP that people who use terminology like ‘big room techno’ might go for. Here at 20JFG we like ‘cloak room techno’, so Joe’s slightly stripped down version (not available on the EP) is just the ticket. As instructed, we take his hand. He doesn’t mind when ours gets a bit clammy. And it does often because ‘In Your Mask’ is an exhilarating flight through jagged analogue terrain – a bit like the ‘virtual reality’ game Pierce Brosnan used in the Lawnmower Man, except reprogrammed by the Tyrell Corporation (that’s Alden Tryell the artist not Alden Tryell the character, but if you like…..).
The Grey Flower EP is being put out by the very nice Relish recordings crew this very Friday (available in Beatport only apparently, vinyl coming soon!)…
Oh, Virgo Four boxed-set, where have you been all our lives?
Whilst currently scraping together enough pennys to collect all thirty tracks, may we pay homage to the vibin sounds that have cleansed our ears and embellished our souls for the past couple of weeks. If you haven’t already seen/heard about the Virgo Four ‘Resurrection’ album then it’s some total ‘lost tapes’ affair which makes you glad you live in the age of reissues, and also the age of the internet. We already used the term ‘life changing’ to describe this album to our 20JFG colleague this week ,and that’s no exaggeration. Imagine the most intimate moment of ‘It’s You’ by ESP’ time stretched across across a 3 hour movie about Jamie Principle floating on the ethereal plane and perhaps you’re getting there.
If you’ve never really listened to much Chicago House, or you’re feeling stuff that Future Times are putting out then we totally recommend picking up the cd version at least. But really it’s gotta be the wax – both very much out now on Rush Hour – just save us a copy, OK?