Category Archives: Poni Hoax

cul de sac


Sudeten Creche’s Dance is the soundtrack for a Walter Hill opium nightmare, poisonous smoke and twisted mirrors and an almost unbearable feeling of foreboding, like peeking over the shoulder of a filthy raincoat as the hand slides into the pocket fingers blind animals twisting against the ebony handle of the switchblade, feeric lines twist from the four corners of the screen where you behold most voyeuristic and converge towards the pale and palpitating image of the inadvertent victim all white in its soon to be blood-soiled innocence a few metres away, synthesisers screech like brutal beasts crawling in the sewers below the concrete as this eerie tableaux advances towards its unavoidable conclusion. Minimal wave rules ok.

Sudeten Creche- Dance


Principles of Geometry’s remix of Poni Hoax’s the Paper Bride is the soundtrack for a Jan Hammer absinthe nightmare, like a carousel of grainy shadows spread across the opressive space of a derelict cul de sac where newspapers swirl to the pipes of a furious wind, a trembling advance  barely illuminated by a killer moon that stares from above like a hole torn in the blackness of the sky. Ominous footsteps approach from behind, the perspective shifts blurry and into the silouette advancing from behind, a storm incarnate, tails of a ragged trenchcoat rising in the air like raven wings, the silver glimmer of a switchblade and blood-shot eyes burrowing frantic in the rocky hillocks of an unforgiving face, pupils that expand like oil on water while a smooth voice utters slowly, ‘I am You’

Poni Hoax- The Symbionese Bride (Principles of Geometry Poni Hoax’s Paper Bride)

Photos by Felix Nadar

Our lady of sound

Featuring : joakim + Poni Hoax


Alter Ego’s remix of Poni Hoax’ Hypercommunication is a chromed shogun gazing down into the dancefloor from a red mountain of swords, cruel heart beating like a clockwork mechanism of electroid viciousness, epic body music expanding metronomic like a geometric reticle straight of Tron, but made of taut barbed wire instead of neon. There is a black panther approaching for the kill in between the sonic spaces of this remix, and this is a totally wicked thing. Sweaty times, cold sweaty times.

Poni Hoax- Hypercommunication (Alter Ego Remix)

Thanks to our main man G£nuin£ Guy for the tip.


We never fail to be astounded by Joakim’s god-like genius, just check out his remix collection, where he continues walking his path in disregard of any sort of generic signposts, fusing the class and musicality of timeless disco with the pumping oomph of Chicago house, and a fair share of shining pop hooks to make the proceedings even more exciting. You can listen to this stuff at home, revelling in the top-notch production, intelligence, emotion and finesse, or lose your shit to it in the dancefloor as the origami-like progressions spread around you in three dimensional versicolor.

His remix of DJ Mehdi’s Pocket Piano is a good example, lush orchestral disco with flexing Piano house muscles build up into an acid colossus which sounds like it was being played live by a crack squad of crazy-eyed super-intense progressive instrumentalists (think Can in Cologne) under the direction of visionary composer Jean Claude Vannier or something like that, which you will agree sounds like a fucking sweet trip, but don’t take my word for it, just listen.

DJ Mehdi- Pocket Piano (Joakim’s Remix)


I was in Rounder Record yesterday when I heard this sound coming out from the shop’s stereo, Throbbing Gristle’s Hot on the Heels of Love spreading its smooth decadent fingers over the blissful fabric of a luscious synthetic drone, the sort of thing our fave psychenautic crew Optimo would have lovingly concocted. As it is, this was from Sal P and Kaos’ Collector Series Danse Gravite Zero, which actually came out a couple of years ago and might well be the most impeccably curated, most tastefully paced DJ mix I have heard since Optimo’s (or RVNG) last.

It is truly a sonic gaze to behold, a trove of musical riches and obscure nuggets seamlessly blending into each other, mid tempo space disco, muscular funk rock, psychedelic new beat, dub and african percussion music, it’s all in there, with mighty Sal P spicing things up in true Liquid Liquid Master of Ceremonies style, space is the place.

I am having a darn hard time deciding what tune to post from the mix, and you will probably find more than a few gems discovered through it featured in this blog in the next couple of months, for now I’m just going to leave you some soulful acid house by ESP, this is a lovers rock from Chicago’s future past, electric doves rising over the Windy City’s breathtaking architecture, a vista to make you cry.

ESP- It’s You

[[[We heart thee French

Featuring : Kap Bambino + Poni Hoax

but we think Carla Bruni and her fascist hubbie stink, fuck the obsession with faux-nobilities and, of course, fuck nobilities]]]

20jazzfunkgreats continues its war against the powerful forces of the Interweb. It appears that the evil corporate forces have allied themselves against the shining beacon of benevolence that this blog is, and decided to sink not only my connection, but also that of Steven’s.

We have sent a black dove to the council of the Eldest to ask for their intercession in gaining access to the wonderful pool of radiance from which all corruption emanates, but their spells require some time to work, so this fucking place full of spiders which we inhabit won’t be back to normal operations until Friday, which is when we shall be unleashing all sort of malignant vibrations upon you on full auto like a bunch of rugged truckers barricaded inside a weapon store which music-hungry zombies, this is you, besiege in a storm of fury:

20JFGmm: More buck for your bang.

But I can still write at home: those iniquitous Internet Service Providers can take away my Xbox Live, but they can’t take away my freedom!!

May the magick puppeteer that controls our destinies from behind a candy coloured cloud in the skies of the darken night not decide to disable my hands as a punishment for my arrogance. Oh dear. Oh there, now here’s some french hotness for you.

(Also, if you feel starved of awesome tunes you should go and check out our little selection at Fervent Moon, who are featuring us this week, bonza!)


A packet with the logo of the grinning Tigersushi creature is always a packet received with joy, and opened with anticipation.

Poni Hoax don’t disappoint in Images of Sigrid, it seems that every single sonic millimetre of this album has been put into place to create an impression of smooth wonderful sexiness, like a theme park of good taste designed by engineers knowledgeable enough not to fear a bit of passion and heartbreak, and also sweat on the dancefloor, as the very excellent Ian Curtis at Studio 54 epic disco of Antibodies demonstrated.

Joakim is of course in charge of production duties, so a Sound with capital letters pervades seductive beautiful compositions which inhabit the spacious meadows of the album like perfectly proportioned Renaissance sculptures hiding inside the luxuriant corridors of a labyrinthine maze. This is the classiest music to grace our ears since Sebastian Tellier took us into his languorous universe of magenta lust and neon pleasure, and an exemplar of perfectly accomplished modern pop music.

Poni Hoax- The Paper Bride

The Paper Bride, with its feeling of gallantly approached pathos, and thrilling noir progression could have soundstracked Alain Delon as Le Samourai, stepping into that cool jazz nightclub for his final date. Nuff’ Said.


Kap Bambino are not classy, they are a sonic mess of joyous aggression coming out at you teeth bared like a no wave piranha coiling in a pool of decomposing scenester bodies, or shall we say giant Amazonian bat shooting lasers with crimson eyes to make your body twitch and spazz in the sort of hysteric dance that, had you been a peasant in the middle ages, would have ended with your pestilent body burning in the pire of the inquisition, soz heretic!

We miss Les Georges Leningrad more than we miss the Internet, but if there is a band where the chaotic dada dance party spirit of Montreal’s freshest keeps burning strong like hellish flames animating the skeleton of wannabe Evil Knievel bikers, then Kap Bambino is ‘em. Zero Life Night Vision is the soundtrack of a Famicom video game where Melt Banana bounce fierce over mushroom-headed boring indie bands on their quest to rescue the sound of Digital Hardcore Recordings from the hands of the postmodern shitcore warlord, they have 6 lives left and it’s going to be a hell of a ride, insert pain.

Kap Bambino- Took Life

13 Monsters return for another hyperkinetic ADD bash in the Barfly this Saturday,

Brighton Barfly

Pyramidal Party Scheme : Like a brainless version of Dawn of the Dead.

Playing all the hits- HEALTH-Hercules and Love Affair-Prince-Silver Apples-Slayer-Late of the Pier-Fuck Buttons-El Guincho-Make Up-Liars-Deerhunter-Santogold-Universal Robot Band-Dan Deacon-Gay vs You-Devo-Beastie Boys-Animal Collective-The Knife-MGMT-Erase Errata-Van Halen-Blood Brothers And many many more.

And coming up in April and May (Get TICKETS HERE):