Category Archives: Protect-U

The Incredible Erasmus Year of Nickodemus N. Plyers

Featuring : Protect-U + xynn

Nickodemus Nathaniel Plyers could have spent an erasmus year perfecting his French, in the majestic city of Paris. He could have spent it continuing his studies in psychology, in the beauteous city of Budapest. But instead, he chose to spend it in a self-induced coma on the fourth floor of Northwick Park hospital, Harrow, Middlesex.

Forgetting to tell his distraught family where he was going for a whole year, they huddled around him whilst he embarked on the fantastical voyage, that would turn him from boy to man. For ever since he had first visited it, Nickodemus had planned to spend his erasmus year in the dream-space between Earth-Moon, and the reality-construct named Pho’gnyshugos. The place best known to us as St-ch – named in the Lexicon of Far Realms as the top 36th best place to visit in the Uggnd-delhab section.

Nickodemus Nathaniel Plyers could have spent his gap year on the Kibbutz. But instead, he devoted it on the unequivocal quest to find the mysterious aura of U-Uno……

Video directed by Aurora Halal

Future Times is back, Mister! We are feverishly excited (in a sublime kinda way) to present this world premiere of the new video and EP from Protect-U – those guys what make the love gush out of us, like a bucket of good vibes spilt across the kitchen floor of serenity.

Protect-U – U-Uno

Three times have we visited Protect-U, and 3 times have our minds been put through a Kaleidescopic inversion.  According to the Lexicon of Far Realms, U-Uno is a land where Dance Mania tough guys live happily together in a commune. A place where DJ Deeon and DJ Funk smoke a bowl o’ peace together and discuss women’s rights. A place where Waxmaster Maurice lets his mind unravel, and considers the nature of time itself. A place where Jammin Gerald produces tracks to the laws of Fibonacci instead of the rules of music. A place we never want to leave.

The incredible World Music EP is out now on the impeccable Future Times. Pre Order it in Europe via Rush Hour.

And while in the sector of ultra posi-tronic emissions so rare, we dug this one out from the archives.

Xynn – Computed Man

According to his website, Xynn was ‘Germany’s answer to David Bowie’. We kind of thought that David Bowie was Germany’s answer to David Bowie – but which ever way you look at it, this guy was seriously under-rated. ‘Computed Man‘ was the joyous discovery that levated us across the emotional chasm that is a traditional British Christmas. An enchanting sonic continuum made even lighter by it’s metronymic absence of any real percussion. An operatic boogie odyssey rendered by an over-imaginative team of IBM programmers – circa 1982. Basically, a big tune! This might also be the second sax solo we’ve featured in a couple of months…..

Check discogs to pick up a copy of Computed Man (the rest of this album is real good). Check his old vids too.

This post was written with some help from the Lovecraftian name generator.

20jazzfunkgreats best of 2010: Step Up

What vinyl platters could wake 20JFG prematurely from its cryogenic slumber in 2010? What repetitive beats could make its unconscious and partially thawed corpse shuffle towards the nearest dancefloor? What warm-hearted heaters could possibly defrost that heart of stone and illuminate that mind of disillusionment? What songs offered comfort when we were sat down and told that our plan to freeze ourselves in search of a better life in the future, had received some major setbacks? In the year that moved at 60 b.p.m, magic at higher tempos shone like the opening ceremony of the Ark of the Covenant.


2 Dogs In a House – Scream in the Night (posted 25th June)

Echoes of Mr. Fingers drift across prehistorical plains where the proto-wolves wait 10,000 years to devour us.


Beautiful Swimmers – Big Coast (posted July 5th)

The soundtrack to Streets of Rage 2 as rerecorded by Shriekback whilst holidaying on Easter Island.


Brassica – New Jam City (posted August 26th)

Prodigious astral boogie 1st heard in the pastel discotheque of Count Ramulus III, Lord of the Vapour Folk (the DJ wouldn’t tell us what it was but we sneaked a look at the label while he was in the toilet).


Charanjit Singh – Raga Megh Malhar (posted March 31st)

Humanity’s ongoing search for ‘The Future’ in electronic music was called off when it was discovered in the past.


Cos/Mes – Gozmez Land (posted November 4th)

A luscious trip into the humid rainforests of Selza-G where the indigenous folk speak only a percussive language based on distant Gamelan mythology.


Crystal Ark – The City Never Sleeps (posted March 22nd)

This is what happened when you dropped the schematic for that trans-dimensional love-canon on your visit to the druid camp.


Crystal Ark – The Tangible Presence of the Miraculous (posted November 16th)

This is what happened when they worked out how to build it.


DJ Nate – Make Em Run (posted July 6th)

Planet Mu gave the Europe a 4-part lesson in how they do things in Juke-Town. From Ramellzian voyages into unchartered arrangements by the younger generation, to telepathic hyperspeed bangers from the seasoned vets – each part served to further bend our stiff upper lips and get that booty shaking like it was Mecha-Godzilla being throttled by King Kong.

DJ Roc – Phantom Call (posted September 22nd)

DJ Rashad – Teknitianz (posted September 16th)

DJ Elmoe – Whea Yo Ghost at Whea Yo Dead Man (posted June 22nd)


Hunt with a cat – Wrapped in Rope (posted August 13th)

Gary Wallace (Anthony Michael Hall) and his best friend, Wyatt Donnelly (Ilan Mitchell-Smith), are 15-year-old nerds with low social standing at their Shermer, Illinois high school. During a weekend at Wyatt’s house in which his parents are out of town they came up with ‘Hunt With a Cat’, the finest mechanoid basement-acid act in the land.


Hyetal – Phoenix (New Post)

Between two stratosphere piercing peaks lies a valley shrouded in a synthetic mist: atmospheric and portentous.  Still, no amount of scene setting can quite prepare you for the majesty of those two peaks. “Last song of the night”-of-the-year.


Hyetal & Shortstuff – Ice Cream (posted January 26th)

Pitch bended celestial ballroom music so good, just hearing the opening takes us five years into the future whereupon we chance on a dank basement club, hear the first few chords of Ice Cream and levitate.


Jonathan Kusuma – Days are Numbered (posted August 27th)

One of many awesome transmissions from Indonesia this year via Space Recs.  Kusuma opening in a baroque fashion with a mile long procession towards a dark and foreboding tower…before storming it in thunderous style.


JR Seaton – Azklementyne (12′ mix) (posted August 5th)

The 20JFG specification document genre known as ‘Beatnik Beats’ was created especially for this blazed out intellectual battle of wits between Lil Louis and Artie Shaw.


Malvoeaux- Targets (posted July 5th)

The moment in Tron:Reloaded where Daft Punk finally remove those helmets to reveal thier unspeakable Teuthidian faces.


Pagan Future – Ancient Ritual (posted October 15th)

Delicate images from the insecure formation of techno preserved at a lower bpm for us to greater appreciate their beauty.


Protect-U – Double Rainbow (posted June 10th)

Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain, where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies.


Rocha- Hands of Love (Fingers of Sand) (Gatto Fritto’s Menorcan Nightmare Version) (posted March 22nd)

This is what hell wants you to think it sounds like down there, so that you will spend your life robbing banks and not helping old ladies across the road.


Steve Moore – Zero Point Field (posted october 13th)

This is what it felt like to be the LHC in the moments leading up to the first collision.


It has long been speculated that the observed periodic radial velocity pattern for the K giant Pollux might be explained in terms of an orbiting planetary companion. We have collected 80 high-resolution spectra for Pollux at Lick Observatory yielding precise radial velocities with a mean error of 3.8 m s<sup>-1</sup>, providing the most comprehensive and precise data set available for this star. Our data confirm the periodicity previously seen in the radial velocities. We derive a period of 589.7+/-3.5 days and, assuming a primary mass of 1.86 M<sub>solar</sub>, a minimum companion mass of 2.9+/-0.3M<sub>Jup</sub>, consistent with earlier determinations.


Valis- Exegisis (posted May 9th)

A 13 piece uniformed funk band named Cameo raided a Government building in 1984. Only 3 of them made it out alive, so they moved to Essex and renamed themselves Nitzer Ebb.


Norse God of Sunsets

Featuring : Alaskas, Protect-U + rxccxxns

When the Earth’s surface cracks open and the fertile soil turns into a hard clay; when flames burst from the sea and your sweat boils your skin into blisters, only the coolest of sounds can save your soul. For me, this usually means soothing drone, blissed out beats, and a bunch of other cliched reverb drenchers that are the perfect home remedy. Well, that and perhaps an air conditioner if I can afford it. In the days to come, as Gaia fights with itself over having either another ice age or a brutal fire age, it will become more and more important to find efficient ways to survive. Here at XXJFG we understand this and are sympathetic to the human plight. To help arm you with some essential survival tools, we present to you these 3 chilled out jams.

Seattle is no stranger to cold, gloomy, weather. In the 90s they used a new transportation system known as Grunge to export the gloomy part of their weather. Bumming people out proved to be a good natural resource for a while, but eventually synthetic forms of gloom flooded the markets and the masses got fooled into sucking down tons of laboratory chemicals the same way Coca-Cola tricked everyone into consuming High Fructose Corn Syrup. For the last couple years Seattle has re-entered the marketplace though, now with a way to export their cold sans gloom. ALASKAS is the self-proclaimed diva brand of this new fertile market and he has a new sound for your overheated home. And like the great salesman of the past, ALASKAS is going town to town and setting up a magical display to woo you into making his product a household name. First though, the sound. Then, at the end of all this madness, a salesman’s route.

ALASKAS – I Love Life

The icy fingers of father figures creep around your soul, asking you to trade freedom for protection. This is a type of love, for sure. A love not wholly unassociated with the driving beat of techno. Will you accept this type of offer when it comes your way? What about when all you desperately want is be saved from the merciless sun. The sun makes no such offer to you, it just burns and burns. Protect-U are happy to step in at any moment. All you need to do is relax and let their Talking Heads meets High Places aesthetic of groove lay over you like a tiny wave on the shore. Are you ready? It is time to accept that Heaven wants you as much as Hell.

Protect-U – Double Rainbow

Before the apple was taken from the tree, the apple was infused with temptation. Before the apple was infused with temptation, temptation was forged over a sinister anvil. An anvil of this sort could only exist in one home. Yes, for some, Hell is home. Perhaps the home of God Himself? Hard to blame the dude though, with infinite foresight, he had to build a place to put BP execs after they die, right? That said, its hard for a mortal mind to conclude if there really is much difference between Heaven and Hell. So maybe we should just abandon this Abrahamic model altogether and turn our eyes to the wisdom of our ancestors. Many say they once were from alien worlds. It is a nice thought. A million Stargate fans can’t be wrong is the way I figure it. Escape to some desert world sounds shitty to me though. The Norse gods are just as likely to be aliens too, and in this world of spiritual uncertainty combined with a capitalist free market, you might as well explore the option that promises what you want most and see if it lives up to the hype. Rxccxxns (different than the one with all those O’s and hyphens) says they have a spacewarp to a cold world. Lets take the ride and see what really awaits on the other end.

Rxccxxns – Theme From Lad Salad

As promised, for you west coasters, here are those ALASKAS dates. On tour with Haunted Horses:

ALASKAS moves to Brooklyn, farewell West Coast Tour
Haunted Horses debut West Coast Tour
06/11/10 at ANALOG ROOM (Portland, OR)
********** with Total Bros, Magic Johnson, Karen
06/13/10 at THE FORT (Oakland, CA)
********** with Run DMT, Blissed Out, Magick Report
06/14/10 at TRIBAL CAFE (LA, CA)
********** with Cyan Ides
06/15/10 at THE SMELL (LA, CA)
********** with Dunes, Back To The Future The Ride
06/16/10 at MCWORLD (LA,CA)
********** with Former Ghosts, Kevin Costner Saves The World, Dream
Panther, and Railcars DJ-ing.
06/17/10 at ACROBATICS EVERYDAY (Irvine, CA)
********** with Moon Pearl and Italic Indian
06/18/10 at BIKO GARAGE (Santa Barbara, CA)
********** with The Blank Tapes and Nohow On
06/19/10 at GERBER PERMANENTE (Oakland, CA)
********** other acts TBA
06/20/10 at VALENTINES (Portland, OR)
********** with ASSS, Mattress

UPDATE – just got sent this video for the ALASKAS’ song!

Alaskas – I Love Life from daisyheroin on Vimeo.

And if you are in the UK, here’s what you should do:

Top Nice rock the Cock Tavern on Friday. Possibly our fave night in London this time, featuring Hype Williams (Live), Non-Sense (Judah & Mr.Wonderful, Paul b. davis, Romantic Three, Mr Zolon and Top Nice DJs (Hampus Time & Bach Bush & Louis Enchanté).Do get down.